1. Alabama (5-0): Mrs. Saban tells Nick she just loves her new alligator purse! (1)
2. LSU (5-0): CBS broadcast vs. Florida to feature new sideline reporter Andy Rooney. (2)
3. Oklahoma (4-0): State Fair pregame menu includes funnel cake, "Bevo on a stick." (3)
4. Stanford (4-0): Coach Harbaugh is 7-1 in Bay Area this week if you combine Cardinal/49ers. (5)
5. Boise State (4-0): Subscribe to "Dikes&Tulips.com" to keep up on team's Dutch players. (4)
6. Wisconsin (5-0): What's black-and-blue and red all over? Nebraska. (7)
7. Oklahoma State (4-0): Texas Tech prep begins with Foxworthy show: "Are you smarter than a Red Raider?" (6)
8. Clemson (5-0): Fans touch replica of "Howard's Rock" every time they go to the refrigerator. (10)
9. Oregon (3-1): Anyone outside Berkeley think Cal will hold Oregon to 15 points this year? (9)
10. Arkansas (4-1): 20-for-20 in red zone, but White Zone still for loading/unloading of passengers only. (18)
11. W. Virginia (4-1): State produced coach Nick Saban and comedic actors Don Knotts, Lou Holtz. (19)
12. Texas (4-0): AD says he technically owns Big 12 under 1862 HomesDodds Act. (20)
13. Georgia Tech (5-0): Gas guzzler in city (6.93 yards per carry) but better on highway. (22)
14. Florida (4-1): Charlie Weis designing trick plays just to get Gators out of huddle at LSU. (12)
15. Nebraska (4-1): Catch "Biggest Ex-Big 12 Losers" this week with co-stars Colorado and Texas A&M. (8)
16. Auburn (4-1): Chizik's Tigers apparently didn't get memo about taking season off. (NR)
17. Virginia Tech (4-1): Players took too literally the "three points" coach made before Clemson kickoff. (11)
18. Illinois (5-0): Six score(s) and five days ago, Illini won "Land of Lincoln trophy" over Northwestern. (24)
19. South Carolina (4-1): Spurrier recants
joke about coloring books lost in Auburn
library fire. (13)
20. Michigan (5-0): Pollsters reacted like
you shut out the G.B. Packers, not the
P.U. Gophers. (NR)
21. Houston (5-0): Keenum's arm transplant "went well" after throwing 46 passes against UTEP. (23)
22. Arizona State (4-1): Trailed Oregon State 13-0, but luckily no voter east of Mesa, Ariz., noticed. (25)
23. Kansas State (4-0): If Snyder keeps this up he'll be named "Coach of Two Centuries." (NR)
24. Florida State (2-2): Dadgummit, this looks like the record the old coach left in his desk. (17)
25. USC (offense only) (4-1): Get complete team breakdown by watching last two defensive breakdowns. (NR)
Dropped out: Texas A&M (14), South Florida (15), Baylor (16), Texas Christian (21).