1. Alabama (5-0): Mrs. Saban tells Nick she just loves her new alligator purse! (1)2. LSU (5-0): CBS broadcast vs. Florida to feature new sideline reporter Andy Rooney. (2)3. Oklahoma (4-0): State Fair pregame menu includes funnel cake, &quot;Bevo on a stick.&quot; (3)4. Stanford (4-0): Coach Harbaugh is 7-1 in Bay Area this week if you combine Cardinal/49ers. (5)5. Boise State (4-0): Subscribe to &quot;Dikes&Tulips.com&quot; to keep up on team's Dutch players. (4)6. Wisconsin (5-0): What's black-and-blue and red all over? Nebraska. (7)7. Oklahoma State (4-0): Texas Tech prep begins with Foxworthy show: &quot;Are you smarter than a Red Raider?&quot; (6)8. Clemson (5-0): Fans touch replica of &quot;Howard's Rock&quot; every time they go to the refrigerator. (10)9. Oregon (3-1): Anyone outside Berkeley think Cal will hold Oregon to 15 points this year? (9)10. Arkansas (4-1): 20-for-20 in red zone, but White Zone still for loading/unloading of passengers only. (18)11. W. Virginia (4-1): State produced coach Nick Saban and comedic actors Don Knotts, Lou Holtz. (19)12. Texas (4-0): AD says he technically owns Big 12 under 1862 HomesDodds Act. (20)13. Georgia Tech (5-0): Gas guzzler in city (6.93 yards per carry) but better on highway. (22)14. Florida (4-1): Charlie Weis designing trick plays just to get Gators out of huddle at LSU. (12)15. Nebraska (4-1): Catch &quot;Biggest Ex-Big 12 Losers&quot; this week with co-stars Colorado and Texas A&M. (8)16. Auburn (4-1): Chizik's Tigers apparently didn't get memo about taking season off. (NR)17. Virginia Tech (4-1): Players took too literally the &quot;three points&quot; coach made before Clemson kickoff. (11)18. Illinois (5-0): Six score(s) and five days ago, Illini won &quot;Land of Lincoln trophy&quot; over Northwestern. (24)19. South Carolina (4-1): Spurrier recantsjoke about coloring books lost in Auburnlibrary fire. (13)20. Michigan (5-0): Pollsters reacted likeyou shut out the G.B. Packers, not theP.U. Gophers. (NR)21. Houston (5-0): Keenum's arm transplant &quot;went well&quot; after throwing 46 passes against UTEP. (23)22. Arizona State (4-1): Trailed Oregon State 13-0, but luckily no voter east of Mesa, Ariz., noticed. (25)23. Kansas State (4-0): If Snyder keeps this up he'll be named &quot;Coach of Two Centuries.&quot; (NR)24. Florida State (2-2): Dadgummit, this looks like the record the old coach left in his desk. (17)25. USC (offense only) (4-1): Get complete team breakdown by watching last two defensive breakdowns. (NR)Dropped out: Texas A&M (14), South Florida (15), Baylor (16), Texas Christian (21).