The national championship game was over, and it had been over for more than 30 minutes Monday, but Maryland senior long-stick midfielder Brian Farrell had not yet found the strength to remove his jersey, or his shoulder pads, for the final time.
Deep inside M&T Bank Stadium, he sat in front of his locker with his elbows pressed to his knees and rubbed his hands together. His eyes never left the carpet. Some of Farrell's teammates were milling about, slowly removing their socks and gloves as they wiped away tears and tried absorb the disappointment of Maryland's 9-7 loss to Virginia, but Farrell wasn't ready to move.
He tried to explain what it felt like to come so close to winning the school's first national championship in men's lacrosse since 1975, but he couldn't quite summon the words. Not the way he wanted, anyway. It was like being asked to describe your own broken heart.
"This team, together, is such a brotherhood," said Farrell (Boys' Latin), one of 17 seniors on the Maryland team. "We have such a strong bond with one another. We've overcome so many obstacles to get here. But it just hurts right now. It sucks."
Those feelings were shared by virtually all Farrell's teammates. Pride mixed with a healthy dose of regret was the dominant emotion in Maryland's locker room.
On one hand, Maryland's senior class couldn't help but feel good about how far it had come in the past 12 months. When coach Dave Cottle resigned abruptly after the 2010 season, the Terps' storied program entered a period of chaotic transition. For nearly two months, players had to organize team activities — and in some cases, even sell recruits on the program — basically on their own before John Tillman was hired to fill Cottle's position.
"I think that's really where we became close. I think it forced us to be leaders," said senior defenseman Max Schmidt. "We had to make sure that everyone bought into what we were doing."
And during the season, that bond was further solidified when senior attackman Ryan Young had to briefly leave the team to be with his mother, Maria Young, during the final days of her battle with pancreatic cancer. She died April 17. Throughout the rest of the season, including Monday's championship game, every member of the team wore a purple T-shirt with the words "Forever Young" stenciled on the back to honor Maria Young's passing.
"We had some tough losses this year, we got some huge wins and we experienced some other terrible lows," Young said. "But I think the base of this program was that we all stuck together. Even alums and people who played 30 years before us have had our backs and taken care of us. This team has been a family."
Maryland entered the NCAA tournament unranked, just the fifth time that has happened since 1972, but made it to the title game for the first time since 1998 with a string of gritty victories. But the Terps' impressive and unexpected run couldn't entirely dull the sting of Monday's defeat.
"This year has been tough, and we've experienced a lot of bumps in the road," said senior attackman Grant Catalino, who had two goals and an assist in the title game. "But making it to the final was not our goal. Our goal was to win it."
Maryland struggled to find a way to penetrate Virginia's zone defense for long stretches Monday, and in key moments, the Cavaliers seemed to handle the sweltering temperatures a bit better. Despite that, Maryland fought back from a three-goal deficit to tie the game at 6 on a goal by Young in the fourth period, a goal that brought the crowd to its feel with an emotional roar.
But in the end, the Cavaliers' attack kept coming in waves, led by Matt White and Colin Briggs, and Virginia kept the ball away from Maryland for long stretches after it scored crucial goals on the board.
"I couldn't be more proud of this group, not only as players, but as people," Tillman said. "The way they handled the last 12 months, really I'm just so disappointed for them, for all they've sacrificed. I think that's probably the hardest thing, is thinking about what they've invested."
When it was over, players in Maryland's locker room slowly gathered their gear and exchanged teary embraces. As they headed for the exits, they walked past a dry erase board in the locker room where someone had scribbled a message for the team hours earlier.
"I love you guys! Always be brothers!"
The note was unsigned, but it could have been written by any of them.
kevin.vanvalkenburg@baltsun.com
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