Billy Cundiff didn't exactly hear whispers. His friends and family were always too polite to say anything out loud, or at least within earshot. But he and his wife, Nicole, saw the occasional looks on people's faces. Those looks said plenty.
It's been a long time since Billy had a kicking job with an NFL team. Wasn't it time to get serious about a life after football? Shouldn't all his focus be on looking for a real job? When is he going to, well, move on with his life?
Cundiff smiles as he tells this story. He's sitting on a stool inside the Ravens locker room, wearing a gray Ravens T-shirt. Twenty feet away, a raucous and competitive game of beanbag toss, also known as cornhole, is taking place. Ray Lewis bellows as he tries to bend the arch of the beanbag to his will. As the official treasurer of the team's Players Only Corn Hole Tournament, Cundiff is keeping a watchful eye on the proceedings.
It's likely just a coincidence that Cundiff is the Raven responsible for holding the tournament entry fees, but it is fitting considering he spent his time away from the NFL working toward getting his MBA and then working at a venture capital firm in Arizona.
There will be a life after football for Cundiff. But for now, Cundiff feels right at home in an NFL locker room again. He's not a journeyman kicker anymore. In fact, he might be one of the best kickers in the NFL. At the very least, he's given the Ravens stability at a position where they lacked it a year ago. He ranks second in the NFL in touchbacks and has hit 10 of 12 field-goal attempts, including the game-winner against the Buffalo Bills in overtime.
"I like Billy. I think he's a heck of a kicker," said Ravens coach John Harbaugh, whose decision to keep kicker Steve Hauschka over Matt Stover last season eventually led to the Ravens' giving Cundiff a tryout. "Obviously, that's been proven. He's made some big kicks for us, so he's done a great job. I think everyone can see that."
Cundiff acknowledges he'd be lying if he claimed there wasn't a single moment where he doubted he'd make it back to the NFL.
"I always thought I had enough talent," he said. "But there is a point where you say maybe, just maybe, the NFL doesn't think you have enough talent."
Cundiff began his career by spending 31/2 years with the Dallas Cowboys, but injuries and a few untimely misses sent him on an odyssey around the league. He spent half a season with the New Orleans Saints and a little time with the Atlanta Falcons, in addition to brief stints with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Green Bay Packers, Detroit Lions and Cleveland Browns, but no one wanted him permanently. Eventually the tryouts started to dry up, as did his savings.
"The more you are removed from football, the more you start to think, 'I've got to start thinking about life after football,'" Cundiff said. "Not only because maybe it might not happen for you, but you've got child care, you've got all these bills piling up and no money coming in. We saved a lot of money when I played, but when you don't work, the money disappears pretty quick."
Rough reality
Two years without a steady NFL job is a long time away from the game. Two years of getting up with the sunrise, kicking by yourself at a local high school, or kicking even when you're vacationing on a beach with your wife, is not the typical midcareer hiatus for a professional athlete.
But his time away from football was, in many respects, invaluable to Cundiff and his family. He learned how to be a stay-at-home dad after his daughter, Chloe, was born and his wife went to work at a law firm. He was able to spend time with his family after his mother-in-law was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.
"At first, you're kind of bummed that things are happening the way they are," Cundiff said. "But then there are also situations that are popping up and you're thinking, 'OK, maybe this is happening for a reason.'"
It's easy to be wowed by the journey in retrospect. But the Cundiffs didn't think too much about all they'd been through until recently.
As she went over some of the details, voicing some of her feelings aloud for the first time, Nicole Cundiff couldn't help but get a little emotional.
"We went through so much during those two years, so many ups and downs," she said. "It was one of the best things to ever happen to us. Individually, we learned so much. You can't really enjoy the sweet without tasting the bitter."
Even as a couple, they tried not to talk about whether Cundiff should give up on football.
"I never wanted to bring up him stopping," Nicole said. "I knew at some point things were going to work out. But a lot of people looked at us like we were crazy. Billy hadn't played in two years, and people were questioning us all the time. But people don't know Billy like I know Billy. He would always say, 'At some point, if something doesn't work out, I'll know that it's time to walk away.' I just prayed that day would never come."
But there were frustrating moments. Cundiff saw an ad in the paper that the Arizona Rattlers, an Arena Football League expansion team, were holding open tryouts for kickers. He decided he was going to show up, pay the $25 tryout fee and just see how he stacked up against everyone else. His agent, Paul Sheehy, was adamantly against it.
"He said, 'Billy, you're not an arena league kicker,'" Nicole Cundiff said. "You just have to hold on, and you're going to get your break.' Thank God for Paul. He believed in us. He knew what the feedback on Billy was, and he put his faith in us. There aren't many agents that would work really hard for two years for you without getting paid."
NFL teams continued to dangle opportunities, but all of them inevitably led to disappointment. One particular audition with the Kansas City Chiefs remains vivid for Cundiff. He and two other kickers were flown in for a workout. Two of them -- he and John Carney -- were asked to stay the night while the team weighed the decision. Cundiff and Carney, who had been together briefly in New Orleans, were friendly, so they agreed to have a slightly awkward dinner at the hotel, where they talked about the competition for the job. The team promised to pick a winner in the morning.
"It felt like something straight out of the TV show, 'The Bachelor,'" Cundiff said.
Someone from the team called his room in the morning to say he was being picked up by a car service. He had no idea if that was good or bad until he saw Carney in the lobby.
"Did you hear what they're doing?" Carney said.
Cundiff shook his head. "Sorry, man," Carney said. "You're going to the airport."
Best-laid plans
Without conceding defeat, Cundiff began to form a contingency plan. He started taking business classes online and applied to Arizona State's MBA program, where he could take classes at night. He was turned down, however. He said the school was worried he'd drop out the minute he landed an NFL kicking job.
Cundiff said he also was a semifinalist for a position at Adidas but found out he didn't make the finals because he didn't have any international living experience. It was disappointing because he wanted the job. He eventually landed an unpaid internship with Pacific Southwest Ventures, a small venture capital firm in Scottsdale, Ariz., but every morning before going into work, he'd kick at the local high school or junior college.
"Again, you think about things happening for a reason," Cundiff said. "If I had made it [with Adidas], they would have wanted me to report in late August to Germany. Well, in late August, I got signed by the Detroit Lions to come to training camp."
The training camp invitation by the Lions didn't lead to a full-time job in Detroit, but it put him in front of more coaches and kept him on people's radar. That eventually led to a stint with the Cleveland Browns, which then led to a tryout with the Ravens. He was happy when the Ravens called because he respected Jerry Rosburg, the Ravens' special teams coach.
"Kicking in the NFL is very situational," Cundiff said. "There are so many things that are out of your control. A guy might get hurt, they might want a guy who is stronger on kickoffs, or a guy who has kicked in bad weather. We kickers talk all the time about this, but it's not how good your makes are. It's what is the variance between how good your good is, and how bad your bad is. The closer you can bring those together, the better you're going to be. A lot of guys, they can nail a 60-yard field goal, but, man, do they spray the ball around."
What is most remarkable about Cundiff, at least as a football player, is that his leg looks stronger than it's ever been, yet he hasn't sacrificed accuracy. Cundiff says it's mostly a mental difference. When the Ravens told him he would have to compete for the kicking job with Shayne Graham in training camp, he didn't spend the offseason sulking. He approached it like the job already belonged to him.
"I didn't set a goal to make the team," Cundiff said. "Instead, I started preparing as though I was going to be the guy. And my focus started getting better each and every day. A lot of people don't accept that as a legitimate explanation, but it really was. My confidence helped my technique get better. And I feel like I outworked every kicker in the NFL during the offseason."
Cundiff understands he needs to consistently perform well in game-winning situations if Ravens fans are going to completely trust him. Years of watching Stover split the uprights in big games set a high standard. But external pressure doesn't mean quite as much once you've fought your way back into the game the way Cundiff has. There is a reason he's kicking as well as he is. He wants to make sure he has the final say in how long this journey lasts.
kevin.vanvalkenburg@baltsun.com
twitter.com/KvanValkenburg YEARTEAMGFGMFGAPCT1-1920-2930-3940-4950+LNGXPMXPAPTS2002DAL16121963.203781482525612003DAL15232979.3011675523031992004DAL16202676.9164132493131912005DAL65862.511501561414292006NO5010.00000100002009CLE566100.0141003144222009BAL7121770.605732461919552010BAL7101283.30344149171747Career778811874.63-333-3325-3423-354-1356140141404Billy Cundiff
Born: Harlan, Iowa
Age: 30
College: Drake
Family: Has a daughter, Chloe (2), and son, Luke (seven months), with wife Nicole
Signed as a free agent with Ravens on 11/18/09 after appearing in five games with Cleveland before being released on11/3/09
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