Want to look silly?
Go to the beach in a three-piece suit. Stand up and sing a little Hoobastank at a morning meeting. Ride one of your kid's tricycles around the block. Or try to predict All-Star rosters.
Once you get past the list of automatics, it's an educated guess to know how players are going to rank their peers, and complete guesswork to predict how the managers and major league officials are going to fill out rosters.
Seldom have there been more surprising rosters than the ones announced Sunday.
Given the hype, it wouldn't have been shocking to have Stephen Strasburg on the National League pitching staff. But raise your hand if you saw Omar Infante coming. Or Evan Meek.
Yes, that Evan Meek, the one who labors in middle relief for the National League's worst team, the Pirates.
Both Infante and Meek were among Phillies manager Charlie Manuel's nine discretionary picks. He needed to choose someone from the Pirates, who were one of eight teams (along with the White Sox) that didn't have a player voted on by fans or players. But Infante?
Anyone could have simply named Reds first baseman Joey Votto, who's hitting .313 with 19 home runs and an NL-high .988 OPS (on-base plus slugging). Or one of several other impressive candidates, like Cardinals center fielder Colby Rasmus, Braves first baseman Troy Glaus, Nationals third baseman Ryan Zimmerman or Brewers first baseman Prince Fielder.
No one would have blamed Manuel for adding one of his own players, perhaps Jayson Werth or Shane Victorino. But apparently Manuel has a man crush on Infante, a utility man who has never had more than 55 RBIs in a season in his eight-year career.
Infante has started only 35 of the Braves' 82 games. He can play almost everywhere on the field, and he apparently caught Manuel's eye by going 6-for-17 with three RBIs against the Phillies this year.
Maybe he'll be the secret weapon the NL needs to get its first All-Star win since 1996. But when Sunday dawned, did anyone even in his immediate family think he was among baseball's elite?
Meek (3-2, 0.98 ERA in 37 games) is an unlikely pick, especially given the presence of 23-year-old center fielder Andrew McCutchen as a candidate. But give Manuel and Yankees manager Joe Girardi credit for not overlooking setup men.
Manuel picked a pair of them for the NL roster, with 40-year-old Arthur Rhodes (3-2, 1.09 ERA in 37 games) joining Meek. Girardi pulled a major surprise by opting for White Sox left-hander Matt Thornton (2-3, 4 saves, 2.94 ERA in 33 games) over qualified candidates in Paul Konerko and Alex Rios.
This being The Year of the Pitcher, starting pitchers had a tough time cracking teams in both leagues. Ten were bypassed that had at least six wins and an ERA below 3, including 10-game winners Andy Pettitte and Mike Pelfrey, and Jered Weaver, who is 8-3 and leading the majors with 124 strikeouts.
Brand names were missing as well in Felix Hernandez, Justin Verlander, Zack Greinke and Roy Oswalt.
It was surprising that the woeful Cubs had a player voted onto the team — with players electing Marlon Byrd to the NL bench — while the White Sox joined the losing Orioles, Indians, Royals, Athletics, Diamondbacks, Astros and Pirates in needing to have a player added to satisfy the antiquated rule requiring every team to be represented.
Girardi probably should have added either Konerko or Rios. But that would have meant his own Alex Rodriguez didn't go (players voted Red Sox third baseman Adrian Beltre onto the team behind fan pick Evan Longoria), and he didn't want A-Rod to pout.
Rodriguez leads Rios and Konerko in RBIs, but they lead him in OPS, home runs and batting average. It's a shame they weren't picked, as they're deserving. Konerko could still go as he's in the Final Man voting.
A rule change requires managers to replace starting pitchers who work on the Sunday before the game. It's possible that only the Yankees' CC Sabathia will be affected.
Whom will Girardi pick to take his place? Pettitte is the obvious choice, so we'll guess he'll go with Daniel Bard, the Red Sox setup man. Why take the easy way out now?
progers@tribune.com