Because Halloween was Monday, the Ravens recently sent two of their few remaining players who might not land on the disabled list after a scary encounter with a teenager dressed as a zombie to Bennett's Curse Haunted House in Baltimore.
Because there are few things better than highly paid, indescribably strong athletes flipping out in the face of preposterous nonsense, the Ravens also sent along a camera crew to document the frightfest.
- Before entering the haunted house, long snapper Morgan Cox said he was "really freaked out right now," and I'm not certain he wasn't talking about defensive tackle Timmy Jernigan's mid-stomach zipper on his short-sleeve hoodie.
- Jernigan: "I think I'm gonna need Scooby with me today."
- Jernigan dancing into the haunted house and being scared 3 yards backward within 15 seconds.
- Cox: "Stay close to the wall," because that way, they can't scare you.
- Jernigan touching mannequin faces like he's an incredulous patron on "Westworld."
- Cox clenching up at the sound of every burst of air.
- Jernigan's satisfying interception of a not-totally-hidden ghoul. "Your friends are pretty clever, but you, I got you."
- All the bleeped profanities that presumably didn't make the final cut
This might be the most important piece of film the Pittsburgh Steelers review all week.