"Christian’s introduction, meanwhile, checked off all the important contender boxes: Is jacked and works out shirtless regularly — check. Has a job that requires him to dress better than, say, an erectile-dysfunction expert — check. Has a poignant backstory that he will share with JoJo as soon as he thinks he’s on the chopping block, thus extending his stay at the Bachelor mansion for at least another week — check. Plus, he’s competing with a guy who dressed up as Santa Claus, a guy whose listed profession is “hipster,” and a guy who spent half the premiere in his underwear and was apoplectic when JoJo revealed she was unfamiliar with the 'Damn, Daniel' meme. I predict a top-six finish for Christian and a ticket to Paradise."