Alas, this is probably the last of The Baltimore Sun Sports section's "The Bachelorette" content for the foreseeable future, seeing as how Christian left Tuesday's show without a rose, because JoJo doesn't know a good thing when she sees it.
So it's perhaps fitting that we go out with what got us in: Justin Forsett, cousin of Christian and provider of content. The Ravens running back appeared on Sports Illustrated's "Audibles NFL Podcast" last week, in an episode taped before Christian's exit, and talked all things "The Bachelorette."
Most notably: Quarterback Joe Flacco (who is happily married) would not have the kind of elite reality-TV game of Jordan Rodgers (who is single), also a quarterback, if one of considerably less acclaim.
"He's so reserved and quiet," Forsett said of Flacco. "It would be hard for me to see him as the bachelor.
"He's a funny guy. He's a witty guy. So some one-on-one time, he would win, I think he would be good at. But in the large group settings, I don't know. I don't think you'd be able to get to see the best of him in those moments."
(Who would be the best Ravens player on "The Bachelorette"? With the expertise gained over having seen one episode ever, let's go with two rookies: Keenan Reynolds, because he could mix the military-man ethos with wide receiver peacocking; and Ronnie Stanley, because what woman vain enough to seek love on TV could say no after being plied with free shoes? Although, I'm just not sure America could handle a Ronnie winning.)
Lest you think any less of Forsett — or more, because who am I to judge? — he said he doesn't normally watch "The Bachelorette." But once he heard that the "snotty-nosed little kid" who would come over and visit and play in his family's tree house would be on national TV, he had to tune in. "It's been a long time since I've seen it," he said. "The only reason I'm watching it now is because of Christian."
Forsett said he wanted Christian to advance for two reasons, one noble, one less so. According to Fusion, a black contestant never has lasted longer than five weeks on "The Bachelor" or "The Bachelorette." And indeed, Christian was booted in the fourth episode.
"I just want him out there," Forsett said. "I want him to make it to the end. I know not a lot of black guys have made it to the end, so I think it would be great for him to be the first one to make it to the end. He's a great guy. I think if he gets in a relationship with someone, I think it would actually work if they put in the time and effort."
He also wanted to be on the meet-the-family portion of the show. "I'll have to do some investigating and put her under the lamp and put her in the hot seat and find out some questions. Is she serious?"
Apparently not, Justin. Apparently not. At least you'll always have the watch parties.