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Chronicling Steve Smith's all-too-brief time on 'Celebrity Family Feud'

Ravens outside linebacker Terrell Suggs was on "Celebrity Family Feud" last year, but after his near-destruction of property, Steve Harvey and Co. brought in a teammate for Sunday night's episode.

On the AFC Offense team, along with New York Jets wide receiver Brandon Marshall, Oakland Raiders wide receiver Amari Cooper, Cincinnati Bengals running back Jeremy Hill and New England Patriots tackle Marcus Cannon, was the Ravens' Steve Smith Sr.

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Ice up, NFC Defense.

AFC offense
(abc.go.com)

(He's the short one.)

After the NFC Defense got its third X on the opening question ("Name a sexy food you put on your mate's body when you're fooling around"), the AFC Offense had a chance to steal. Said Marshall: "Cake icing."

Smith tried to convince himself that this was the right thing to say. He laughed and pretended to be juggling other, crazier options.

steve smith amari cooper brandon marshall
(abc.go.com)

Then I think he gave Harvey a wink. I do not know why he winked. Maybe it was to hint to Harvey that this answer was his. But a wink cannot help you, Steve! The answers will not change!

steve smith wink
(abc.go.com)

Anyway.

Survey says:

steve smith miss x
(abc.go.com)

"Oysters" came on the board, which, OK, no one should put oysters on a partner's body, because what if they're allergic, or just a normal human being?

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Then "Jell-O" came up, and Smith looked like he'd just missed a block.

steve smith brandon marshall reax
(abc.go.com)

But there was a chance at redemption just around the corner. Smith was next up on the faceoff portion of the show, and he'd be going against former Washington Redskins (hence the NFC allegiance) and current New England Patriots defensive lineman Terrance Knighton, a guy whose belly lent him the nickname "Pot Roast." Under no situation anywhere should you want a "Pot Roast" responsible for any rapid-fire question. Not against Steve Smith Sr.

The question: "If it were up to men, what would their bride be wearing as she walked down the aisle?"

terrance knighton steve smith feud
(abc.go.com)

Both were quick to the buzzer, and maybe Smith really should have brought his Suggs-ian force, because Knighton just beat him out.

Knighton's answer of "Nothing" was everything, because it was the top response, and his significant other was in the crowd and couldn't stop laughing, and Smith knew he had been bested by a man who responds to the name of a braised beef dish.

steve smith reaction
(abc.go.com)

The wedding-wear saga was far from over. The NFC Defense got three correct responses and three incorrect responses. Smith had an opening to steal, and that he did. "Bathing suit," he said coolly, and nine of 100 people surveyed apparently agreed. High-fives all around. 94-79, NFC Defense. We had ourselves a ballgame, or game show, or whatever.

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Unfortunately, Smith's next response marked the beginning of the end for the AFC Offense. After a faceoff win and two straight on-the-board answers to, "Name someone you're glad you only see about once a year," Harvey came around to Smith.

Honestly, they looked like a father and son, blessedly together at last. Sure, they might disagree about facial-hair placement, but what family is perfect?

Steve Smith Steve Harvey
(abc.go.com)

Smith's answer was not said with great confidence. He waited a beat, looked around uncomfortably and offered: "Your enemy?" — even though the Ravens and Pittsburgh Steelers meet twice a year, I'm pretty sure.

Anyway, Smith made a face.

steve smith enemy face
(abc.go.com)

What a face.

You can guess what happened next. Survey says:

steve smith enemy miss
(abc.go.com)

Harvey moved on while Smith blew raspberries at the camera. Cooper and Hill also missed, and the NFC Defense stole the points and all but wrapped up the game.

Marshall and Smith did not look pleased to have forgotten about Santa when it came up on the board. Or maybe they were just confused, like me and Harvey.

Brandon Marshall Steve Smith miss
(abc.go.com)

The NFC Defense took the next category, too, and Smith and the AFC Offense went home without a shot at the Fast Money section.

Steve Smith Sr. might not have won Monday, but it didn't matter. I'd like to think we all did.

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