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Forgotten holiday of Thanksgiving helps teach unforgettable values

For the past seven years, I have written a Thanksgiving holiday column on being grateful. When sitting down to write this month's column, I considered veering from tradition. The thought of writing about the new "Twilight" saga movie came to mind, but after contemplation, decided against it. The undead saga of Bella and Edward can wait. It's not like they are going to become alive or anything.

But why, do you ask, would I bother to write about a holiday that appears, by all means, to be completely invisible this season? We went from merchants selling Halloween decorations to the bombardment of Christmas cheer. Don't get me wrong; I have had discussions with hubby about putting the tree up before Thanksgiving so that we can enjoy it during the Thanksgiving holiday.

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Obviously, I am very easily swayed by the marketing ploys of the media, the sales objectives of the merchants and my love for all things Christmas. One year we left our holiday lights up on the back deck well after Santa had safely returned to points north. Our next-door neighbor politely pointed it out to us — as if we couldn't see it ourselves. We took his thoughtful hint and removed them. Yes, I am that tacky neighbor.

Tradition has tugged at my sleeve, or in my case, tradition has tugged my hand-me-down sweatshirt from my 15-year old son, Alex. I am inclined to write about being grateful because that is the real message of the season.

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Being thankful is an exercise that can be done daily and something I try to focus on, regardless of what is happening. I used to focus on what went wrong, but now focus on what went right. It lightens my load and reminds me of what I do have.

Over the years, my goal has always been to teach Alex the value of being thankful. There are times, especially now as we wrestle with the teenage years, that I wonder if anything I've attempted to teach him is making a positive difference.

When Alex was very little, he started playing team sports. Being naturally athletic and full of energy, we encouraged Alex to participate in sports where running was the primary activity, although balls were used as a ploy to keep the children moving back and forth as opposed to forward only — in which case we would have to run and bring them back again.

I encouraged these types of sports because it's healthy and because I was trying to avoid playing tag in our basement. Playing tag was Alex's favorite pastime and he was able to out-run me at the tender age of 4. Yeah, I'm fast … What can I say?

Alex enjoyed soccer and flag football. He did not enjoy T-ball, save for the drawing in the dirt as he waited for someone to actually hit the ball. Alex spent an entire year campaigning for tackle football and started playing when he was 9.

That sport is tough from the get-go and not for the faint of heart. To this day, I still wince when there is a helmet-to-helmet tackle. Fortunately Alex's interest has turned to kicking. If he can get in there, do his thing and get out of the way, he's safe and I'm happy.

When he initially started playing team sports, I taught him to thank each coach at the end of the season. Initially Alex listened to my encouraging instruction. As he got a little older, he realized that he was in the minority and questioned why I was "making" him do this. We worked through this phase — mom won this round — because I insisted that he go over and say "thank you, coach."

Alex is now the kicker for his high school junior varsity football team. The season is relatively short — only 10 games per season. When the last game is played, the season ends with no playoffs. It's sad for the Potocko family, but I always tell Alex that we are grateful that he has the talent to play, that he loves playing and that he was able to help his team by contributing points with his kicking.

As I was leaving the stands after the last game this season, I stopped and watched as my son thanked each coach with a handshake. Later Alex told us that all the players shook the coaches' hands, but I only stayed long enough to witness my own son show his thanks.

I was filled with appreciation to have seen this moment. I could have been busy chatting or walking or I could have been busy being undead for that matter. But I wasn't. I watched him walk over to each coach and extend his hand. I watched him do something that I taught him more than 10 years ago. I saw him show his thanks.

And for that I am truly grateful.

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