xml:space="preserve">
xml:space="preserve">
Advertisement
Advertisement

Since the dawn of time, man has carried a questionable burden

Early humans wondered: "Where did we come from?" "Where are we going?" "What's for dinner? Mastodon again?"

"Who said not to eat those berries? She did? Because they're poisonous? Why didn't you say something sooner?!?" (That gene pool was destined to dry up.)

Advertisement

Even toddlers instinctively question their world: "Where do babies come from?" "Why do I have a baby sister?" "Why couldn't the stork have brought me a brother?" "Why do I have to take a bath/eat my peas/go to day care?"

And, "What's a martini? Mr. Johnston says Mrs. Johnston drinks too many martinis. Can I have a martini?"

Advertisement

And, of course, "Can I have a cookie? Can I have a soda? Can I have some candy? Can I have a cookie? Can I have a soda …?"

Elementary-school teachers don't have all the answers, otherwise fourth-graders wouldn't ask: "Can I have $300 sneakers?" "Can I use your credit card to download 85 songs to my iPhone?" "Can I have an iPhone?"

Teens are always looking for answers: "Can I have the car keys?" "Can I have the car keys?" "Can I have the car keys?" "Can I have 50 bucks?" "Can I have the car keys?"

Think a higher education helps? You can't tell by 20-somethings. "Why am I working at Burger-in-the-Box with a master's degree in art history?" "Dad, can you 'lend' me some cash?" "Can I move back home? My girlfriend, too? And her 5-year-old?" "Are you having a stroke? Can I have the house?"

Even 30-somethings ponder: "Why am I still working at Burger-in-the-Box?" "Why do you want to get married?" "Do you hear my biological clock ticking?" "Is that my hair in the sink?!?" "Do these shorts make me look … 30?" "Have you seen my varsity jacket? Why did you give it to the Goodwill? It did so still fit!"

In your 40s, many questions remain: "Were you raised in a barn?" "Who forged my signature on this suspension slip?" "Did you climb out your window last night, mister?" "What time do we need to be at soccer, ballet, choir, the school play, the doctor appointment to have your cast removed?"

"Are you looking to be grounded for life?" "Who put the turtle in the refrigerator?" "Do you think I care if 'everybody else' has a drum set?" "Who forged my signature on this receipt?"

In our 50s, we're still clueless: "You want move back home again?" "You want to go back to school again? You've already got a double PhD in art history!" "How was your day at Burger-in-the-Box?" "Did I mention that your dad and I put a pool table in your old room?" "Hon, when will it be 'our' time?"

By 60 we simply accept that life is one big mystery. "Have you seen my keys?" "Where are my glasses?" "Does this mole look funny to you?" "Where's my denture cream? I don't have dentures? OK, then where's the toothpaste?"

"Have you seen my keys?" "Where did I leave the car?" "What was the name of that couple we knew when we lived on … what was the name of that street?" "Have you seen my keys?"

And — most importantly — "Where do all these grandbabies come from?"

Email Cathy Drinkwater Better at cbetter@juno.com.

Recommended on Baltimore Sun

Advertisement
Advertisement