I have never thought I handled change very well.
A case in point: back in February, I was transferred from the The Aegis' offices in Bel Air to The Sun building in downtown Baltimore. I was one of two copy editors who were moved as part of a reconfigured Aegis operation that involved the closing of this paper's Hays Street facility in Bel Air.
Suffice it to say the move, which meant leaving the community I live in to commute one hour to work, as well as leaving behind a relatively happy, energized work environment and group of co-workers I cared about, sent me into somewhat of a personal and professional tailspin. And, all of this came less than a year after my divorce became final.
One mental health crisis and five months later, I decided to enlist the help of a life coach who specializes in assisting people with ADD set goals for their lives and encourage them to move toward fulfilling them. The service isn't cheap, but I figured it is an investment that will be well worth it in the end.
As part of the process, it seems as though all the major areas of my life are on the table, chief among them career, recreation and relationships.
Last week, as part of my coach's homework, I was assigned to take part in a social activity over the weekend, which was free with my son being on a two-week vacation with his father. Over the 21 years I was married, I was the sort of wife who kept all of her eggs in one basket, so to speak. My husband was my closest friend and so when our marriage ended I found myself isolated, spending all of my free time with my son. But as he gets older, he is growing in his independence, which I know is good for him, but I admit has been emotionally challenging for me.
So on Saturday, I went on a hike in Soldier's Delight in Owings Mills with a group I found on Meetup.com. This was completely out of my comfort zone. I didn't know any of the people and it was the first time I have used the Internet to connect with other people. I was a little nervous but I made it a point to introduce myself to at least a half dozen people over the course of the hour we were together, something that doesn't come naturally to me. The people were friendly and easy to talk to.
The hike leader, Missy, made sure no one was left behind. Marty, an electrical engineer, filled me in on the local hiking scene and clubs in the area. I had a great conversation with Steve, a divorced father of two teenage girls who is a regular on the hiking circuit. I was fascinated as he talked about his work as an exercise physiologist for seniors. As we discussed our jobs, family life and spiritual practices, I was surprised at how easy was the give and take of the conversation. We mentioned possibly getting together for a game of tennis. (Since my original writing of this column we planned an evening of swing dancing – an activity also out of my comfort zone, but I'm game for something new).
During my two-year divorce process, and since then, there have been many times I had the feeling my life was over. But I have discovered I am more resilient than I ever thought I was.
Without realizing it, I haven't been dying but growing into a new life, one whose terrain is unfamiliar yet filled with possibility.
I am exploring the many choices that lay ahead and am excited by my potential, learning that I can handle change just fine.