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What would Jesus do with a semi-automatic?

During a press conference Tuesday, Harford County Sheriff Jeffrey Gahler along with Delegate Kathy Szeliga and Senator Wayne Norman announced the proposed legislation called the Parishioner Protection Act of 2018.

Oh my! It's such a beautiful Sunday morning, and with the Del. Kathy Szeliga, Sen. Wayne Norman, God bless 'em, Parishioner Protection Act of 2018, I get to pick out what guns I will wear with my outfit (“Harford sheriff, legislators want measure to let people carry guns in church,” Dec. 12).

Let's see. Under my blazer, I could pack my Glock in a shoulder holster. Unfortunately, it only has a 10-round mag, but I'm wearing more on my designer Gucci belt. For my handbag, will it be my shiny Colt Cobra with the two-inch barrel or my Lady Smith J frame revolver? I think I'll go with the Smith and Wesson. It's got that cute pink handle and goes with my accessories. Oh yes, I could wear a hat! My derringer could slip right into the band.

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I better not see any sticky fingers hanging over the collection plate, and don't dare cut in front of me in the communion line! With my prayer book, I'm all set. Come to think of it, it's a good thing the merchants and money changers weren't armed when Jesus threw them out of the temple. Our Lord wouldn't have made it to the crucifixion!

Catherine McSherry, Bel Air

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