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Hey Trump: Swap Baltimore for Greenland

The town of Upernavik in western Greenland. President Donald Trump has thrown out the idea of buying the island in Denmark.
The town of Upernavik in western Greenland. President Donald Trump has thrown out the idea of buying the island in Denmark. (Linda Kastrup/Ritzau Scanpix via AP)

Since the proposed acquisition of Greenland is one of President Donald Trump’s least crazy ideas, and he doesn’t like Baltimore anyway, why not make a match and swap the two (“Trump has talked about buying Greenland for the U.S., sources say,” Aug. 15).

The Danes might be willing to deal as they feel about Greenlanders the way Mr. Trump describes Baltimore. If the deal is a go, it should include making every resident of Baltimore a Danish citizen immediately. That would mean that everyone in Baltimore City would instantaneously have free health insurance and a free college education. And instead of our governor saying our public transit is a boondoggle, we would warrant something like Copenhagen’s metro, which serves 64 million a year, since we’d instantaneously be the second largest city in Denmark (and not by much).

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There would be nothing like Scandinavian socialism to pull Baltimore out of its doldrums. It isn’t so far-fetched considering that in the aftermath of turning Iraq into a pile of rubble. free health insurance was actually proposed to placate the ruined Iraqis. (Some smart aleck liberals caused the Bush Administration to back off when they asked where was their free health insurance.)

The downsides might include higher taxes, but Baltimore’s taxes are already sky high for people of means. I would urge both nations to start talking. It could be the best deal for Baltimore since we got Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, Jack Baldschun and Dick Simpson. The fly in the ointment might be the Greenlanders themselves, who as if this writing would rather be second-class Danes than second-class Americans.

Paul R. Schlitz Jr., Baltimore

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