But let's not forget how police officers, prosecutors, judges, sports fans and elected officials can also take a stronger stand on violence against women. We are all responsible for refusing to tolerate violence and abuse in intimate relationships, and we all must all refuse to tolerate it. Would everyone have treated Ray Rice differently if his victim had been a total stranger? Today, across America, young thieves who assault total strangers and are facing severe consequences. But sadly, if the abuser and the victim know each other, a different standard seems frequently to apply. We will never see men making different choices about abusing those they claim to love unless we hold them accountable for choices to violently abuse others.