And yet, even though I'm haunted by the thought of being saddled with still more expenses the longer we live, I want us to live. I want us to experience again the joie de vivre of the day we married, two carefree teen-agers who didn't have a clue about what lay ahead, including, so far, 69 years of love-filled wedded bliss. Life has been good to us, filled with moments and memories to be treasured, savored. But, my wife, my beloved wife, can no longer recall the good times. Her memories are mostly gone now. Never to return.