I dislike shaving for a number of reasons. First, shaving takes valuable time in the mornings that I could spend watching TV. Second, my beard provides ample coverage of the double chins I picked up in my late 20s thanks to college dinners of beer and hot wings. Third, and most importantly, all the best wizards had beards (Gandalf, Tim the Enchanter, Dumbledore, etc.) — and who doesn't want to be associated with that level of awesomeness?