Dear Mr. So-Called President:
So let me explain to you how this works.
You were elected as chief executive of the United States. I won't belabor the fact that you won with a minority of the popular vote and a little help from your friends, FBI Director James Comey and Russian President Vladimir Putin. The bottom line is, you were elected.
And this does entitle you to certain things. You get your own airplane. You get free public housing. You get greeted with snappy salutes. And a band plays when you walk into the room.
But there is one thing to which your election does not entitle you. It does not entitle you to do whatever pops into your furry orange head without being called on it or, should it run afoul of the Constitution, without being blocked.
You and other members of the Fourth Reich seem to be having difficulty understanding this. Reports from Politico and elsewhere describe you as shocked that judges and lawmakers can delay or even stop you from doing things. Three weeks ago, your chief strategist, Steve Bannon, infamously declared that news media should "keep its mouth shut and just listen for a while."
Just last Sunday, senior policy adviser Stephen Miller declared on CBS' "Face the Nation" that "our opponents, the media and the whole world will soon see as we begin to take further actions, that the powers of the president to protect our country are very substantial and will not be questioned."
What you do "will not be questioned?" Lord, have mercy. That's the kind of statement that, in another time and place, would have been greeted with an out-thrust palm and a hearty "Sieg heil!" Here in this time and place, however, it demands a different response:
Just who the hell do you think you are?
Meaning you and all the other trolls you have brought clambering up from under their bridges. Maybe you didn't notice, but this is the United States of America. Perhaps you've heard of it? Nation of laws, not of individuals? First Amendment? Freedom of the press? Any of that ringing a bell?
Let's be brutally clear here. If you were a smart guy with unimpeachable integrity and a good heart who was enacting wise policies for the betterment of all humankind, you'd still be subject to sharp scrutiny from news media, oversight from Congress, restraint by the judiciary -- and public opinion.
And you, of course, are none of those things.
I know you fetishize strength. I know your pal Vladimir would never stand still for reporters and judges yapping at him like so many poodles.
I know, too, that you are accustomed to being emperor of your own fiefdom. Must be nice. Your name on the wall, the paychecks, the side of the building. You tell people to make something happen, and it does. You yell at a problem, and it goes away. Nobody talks back. I can see how it would be hard to give that up.
But you did. You see, you're no longer an emperor, Mr. So-Called President. You are now what is called a "public servant" -- in effect, an employee with 324 million bosses.
And let me tell you something about those bosses. They are unruly and loud, long accustomed to speaking their minds without fear or fetter. And they believe power must always answer to the people. That's at the core of their identity.
Yet you and your coterie of cartoon autocrats think you're going to cow them into silence and compliance by ordering them to shut up and obey? Well, as a freeborn American, I can answer that in two syllables flat.
Leonard Pitts is a Pulitzer-prize winning columnist for The Miami Herald, email@example.com.