No, it was not The Onion that reported last week that all eight of Baltimore's full-time liquor license inspectors signed a letter saying they are afraid to go to bars at night. That actually happened. It seems that the new sheriffs at the Baltimore Liquor Board have the crazy idea that liquor inspectors ought to inspect bars when there are actually patrons there, and at the times of day when violations typically occur. But the inspectors complain that many of these bars are rough places in bad neighborhoods, making them "constantly in fear for [their] safety." Which begs two questions. 1) If these establishments are so dangerous for the inspectors, might they not also be a danger to the general public and, thus, in need of some action from the liquor board? And 2) If these eight men and women are scared to be in "crowded bars late on a Saturday night," why did they pick this occupation? What next, animal control officers who are afraid of dogs?