Previously: Part 1: Grammar Day Aborted
Part 3: A sinister plot
"Well, gents," I said, "opinions are nice things to have, and I see you're well supplied. But I've been written off more often than a publisher says that cutbacks will increase reader satisfaction. So, if you'll be so kind as to ask this mug to hand me my hat, I'll be on my way."
"You don't know who you're dealing with," the stentorian "we are the Consortium" type said.
"Chief, now that you bring that up, who the hell are you, and why should I care?"
"Did you see our staff? We are the future, the New Era, the end of your stale, used-up shell of journalism. We are …" he paused for effect, and then each of them started to chime in around the table.
"Unworthy!"
"Gawper!"
"Buzzbreed!"
"Daily Trawler!"
"Huff & Puff Post!"
I interrupted the roll call. "I see. I won't believe what happens next after I'm captured by the Clickbait Caucus. What do you want with me?"
"You are insignificant. You have a minuscule audience of overly educated readers who don't make enough to attract advertisers' interest," Unworthy said, "but you have been meddling in our affairs."
"How so?"
"Your attacks on our grammar quizzes might begin to discourage the badly educated and socially insecure from coming to our sites. We depend on those quizzes to lure them in, and every time you expose some zombie rule or usage superstition, you, in your small way, potentially cut into our traffic. That will not be tolerated."
"What do you think you can do to stop me, big boy?"
He had just opened his mouth to reply when there was a commotion at the door, and two familiar figures burst into the room and confronted the clickbaiters.
Next: The Conditional Entente