Part 1: A belle in the night
It was nighttime. My time.
I had just put the paper to bed, tucked it in, read it a story, plugged in the night light, left a glass of water on the bedside table, and told it not to let the bedbugs bite as I closed the door. Then off down the mean streets of Baltimore to the ratty studio apartment I called home.
The door was unlocked, which wasnāt right, and when I opened I saw the glow of a cigarette across the room.
I switched on the light, and there she sat, in my reading chair, drinking a glass of my bourbon ordinaire. āWell, doll,ā I said, āif Iād expected company, I would have laid on the good liquor.ā
āThis is quite satisfactory,ā she said, adjusting her skirt to allow me to admire the line of her thigh. Her vocabulary was Downton Abbey, but her accent was Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Her clothes said Saks, but her eyes said floozy. The little cross at her throat murmured piety, but what the decolletage blared was entirely secular.
I poured myself a slug and sat down on the bed. āTo what do I owe the pleasure of your company?ā I asked.
āI have a friend ...ā She trailed off.
āGood for you. I donāt. Iām an editor.ā
āHeās an editor, too. Only ...ā
āToots, if youāre going to talk entirely in ellipses, weāre going to be here till dawn.ā
āOnly heās gone. Heās just gone, gone without a word to me. I went to see him at work and he wasnāt at work and they wouldnāt tell me anything about him and I donāt know what to do and not knowing what to do I came here to see you.ā
āLetās not go to the other extreme, doll. Try a little punctuation. Tell me, where does, or did, this friend work.ā
āAt the Courier-Messenger-Dispatch.ā
The old Curious Mess, about one page of yard sale ads shy of turning into a shopper.
āWas he, you should pardon the expression, a copy editor?ā
āYes. He wasāāshe fluttered long eyelashes over big brown eyes and blushedāāhe was the slotman.ā
āThen I know where he is.ā
āYou do? Really? Tell me.ā
āTheyāve sent him to the Hub.ā
Next: The mission
"Grammarnoir 4: Final Edition" Part1: "A belle in the night"
This is the first installment of the fourth Grammarnoir serial. The second and third installments will be posted on the next two successive Fridays. The thrilling conclusion will appear on National Grammar Day, March 4, a Sunday, because grammar never takes the day off.