A mother's grief [Letter]

Rarely has a column affected me the way Susan Reimer's empathetic understanding of the Columbia Mall shooter's mother did ("Equal measures grief and remorse," Jan. 29).

Yes, we do blame parents and relatives in similar situations. That's understandable. But were I in the place of Darion Aguilar's mother, Jordan Aguilar, I too might find myself "struggling for a reason to live."

Our culture cherishes privacy, and parents are loath to intrude in their children's cloistered solitude. Yet tragically, that could be a horrible mistake. In a society where "minding your own business" is venerated, we have become accustomed to ignoring strange behaviors and consider intervention a form of "snitching."

But how do the friends and acquaintances of Darion Aguilar, Seung-Hui Cho and Adam Lanza feel when they realize "getting involved" might have saved innocent lives?

Frequently I'm accused of being a busybody for questioning untoward behaviors and actions. And too often it's made me feel guilty. However, after reading Ms. Reimer's heartfelt appreciation of a mother's grief I'm not about to change my ways.

Roz Heid, Baltimore

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