It has been a busy few weeks for those of us in the Glass House Club who keep track of the bad behavior of others.
Almost before we finished shaking our heads and tsk-tsking at Al Gore's purported bad massage table behavior, we had Lindsay Lohan's bad nail polish behavior and Mel Gibson's bad telephone behavior.
Anyone concerned about the coarsening of the cultural conversation has got to admit that that horse has left the barn. We are now hip-deep in I-can't-believe-anyone-would-actually-do-that. And it appears nobody is learning any lessons from the bad behavior of others.
Bristol Palin is suddenly making wedding plans with baby-daddy Levi Johnston, and nobody can tell if it is love, a reality TV show deal or the kids sticking it to control-freak Mama Sarah, who got the news from cover of US Weekly.
Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, who was called to the NFL's equivalent of the principal's office for boorish behavior bordering on sexual assault, suspended and fined millions, is now under investigation by Ohio police because a member of his foursome was allegedly seen urinating in public on a golf course. Ben, it is all about who you hang with, OK?
A 19-year-old kid from Washington state, dubbed "the Barefoot Bandit," was snagged in the Bahamas after a cross-country crime spree involving boats and airplanes, and his mother told reporters she was glad that he got to enjoy a Caribbean island, but she wishes that he had crash-landed his plane on one that didn't have an extradition treaty with the United States.
LeBron James takes an hour of television time to screw over the entire city of Cleveland while referring to himself in the third person, and the owner of the Cavaliers responds by writing an open letter to fans that sounds as if it was written, as one columnist put it, by a "psycho ex-girlfriend." Meanwhile, a man proved by DNA testing to not be James' father is suing to have that decision overturned.
Ms. Lohan, who wept when sentenced to 90 days in jail for violating her probation, checked herself into a posh rehab facility, hoping, I guess, that the judge will consider it an even trade. Ms. Lohan also got into a Twitter smackdown with comedian Joan Rivers, who can be mean as a snake and did not disappoint.
Also, somebody is reportedly willing to pay Ms. Lohan $500,000 for a Paris Hilton-style post-jailhouse story, which might be her largest payday since she played to type in "Georgia Rule." Next up, I am thinking, she will be Larry King's exit interview.
John Stamos testified in the trial of a couple accused of trying to extort $680,000 in exchange for photos of him with drugs and hookers. Testimony that he tried to have sex with a 17-year-old was ruled inadmissible.
The tapes just keep on coming in Mel Gibson's really bad break-up with baby-mama Oksana Grigorieva. And although he sounds like a complete lunatic with a volcanic temper, hats off to Radar Online, which found ways to parcel out daily portions of Mr. Gibson's vitriol to a wincing nation. I'd call this one a bad-behavior tie.
George Steinbrenner, one of the nastiest, most hot-tempered bullies in life, let alone sports, was eulogized as the man who saved the New York Yankees and baseball, which just goes to show how death can wipe your slate clean, as it were.
Hugh Hefner is bidding to buy back the stock and take Playboy Enterprises private, which would be a first for the bare-breasted empire.
And finally, Dick Cheney removed all doubt by having an artificial pump installed where his heart should be.
Susan Reimer's column appears Mondays. Her e-mail is firstname.lastname@example.org. Twitter.com/susanreimer.