The King is in hiding. A 7-foot-tall statue of Elvis Presley has been plucked from atop the Happy Diner in Rosedale and we, like the rest of the "Hound Dog"-loving world are wondering where could he be?
The usual suspects have been cleared of the heist. The organizer of Baltimore's Night of 100 Elvises, Carole J. Carroll, and Elvis tribute artist Tom Connelly, also known as "Thelvis Man," told The Sun's Jill Rosen that as much as they admire Elvis, they could not condone snatching him from a rooftop.
Other possible culprits, authors Jane and Michael Stern, are also off the hook. Even though they frequently eat at diners — their "Roadfood" books are best sellers — and collect Elvis memorabilia, the Sterns professed innocence when contacted at their Connecticut home.
Drawing on his study of the eating habits of Elvis, Michael Stern suggested a couple of spots around town where the King might hang out.
"Two places I would look for Elvis: at hamburger joints (He'll be the guy asking for well done) and — during this heat wave — in any local meat locker. The E-Man loved keeping Graceland super cool," Mr. Stern said.
Music writer Geoffrey Himes, a professed "huge Elvis fan" and a Baltimore resident, speculated that Elvis would avoid the area's rock clubs and instead "haunt bluegrass joints like Jumbo Jimmy's Crab Shack in Port Deposit, or storefront black churches ... near City College." Such places possess the "invigorating roots of his music," Mr. Himes said.
Given the notoriety this dastardly deed has received — rivaling only the theft of Jenna Bush Hager's bicycles in media coverage — it seems likely that Elvis will soon be spotted.
But Mr. Himes, who has covered the local music scene since 1977 and is host to the Roots Café Singer Songwriter Series at the Common Ground in Hampden, is not so sure.
He thinks the statue is a goner. His theory is that it "has been enshrined in some underground church, down in the catacombs, where a heretical sect of Elvis worshippers in sequined jumpsuits sing the traditional hymns — 'Can't Help Falling in Love,' 'Love Me,' — amid flickering candles and incense."
We hope that is not true. Until Elvis is returned to Rosedale, we remain all shook up.