Not long ago, Laura Barnhardt Cech asked, "Is it OK for a 12-year-old to wander the Inner Harbor? Can an 8-year-old play alone in a neighborhood park in Columbia? Is it safe to let a 9-year-old walk to a friend's house in Towson?"
In her article, she explored numerous issues that parents need to think about before they decide to let a child leave home without an accompanying adult ("Is it safe to be a free-range kid?" Jan. 22). How far is the child going? Will they have a cell phone? How responsible is the child?
Several parents are quoted talking about the importance of raising confident children "who will have a sense of independence … and who can make their own decisions." After all, when children grow up, they will need to make decisions about work, money and personal issues. To prepare for adulthood, isn't it crucial for parents to give children reasonable opportunities to be on their own?
When a child's parents do not live together, a child still needs to learn to be on her own. The child is often living in two homes in different neighborhoods or even in different states. One parent may live in urban Fells Point, the other in a rural area of Carroll County. How do these parents decide when and where a child can venture without an adult in both neighborhoods?
Mediation is an effective way to answer these questions. Parents share information and create a list of options then they discuss pros and cons. For instance, in one parent's neighborhood, public buses may be convenient. In the other parent's neighborhood, using a bike may be most practical and therefore important to fully discuss. After a thorough conversation, parents make informed decisions.
If circumstances change, parents may need to discuss these issues again. As the years pass, opportunities provided by both parents for their child to experience independence and decision-making will help him develop good judgment and become a confident "free-range" adult.
Sheila Russian, Pikesville