Here's to the venomous secessionists

The sour Skittles are coming out of the woodwork, and I'm finding them increasingly harder to swallow. I am both surprised and amused to learn that all 50 states have turned in pleas (or petitions) to secede from the United States ("Petitions call for secession and dance session," Nov. 15).

I'm curious where all this venom and extremism was before the election. Do they realize that if their states were to successfully secede, they forfeit their rights to claim baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet as their mantra? Are they cognizant they will have to relinquish their Bruce Springsteen "Born in the U.S.A." CDs and Uncle Sam as their political mascot? With what nations would those states affiliate themselves? Would it be lawless Mexico with their savage cartels vying for power, or Canada, who would not get involved for fear of tarnishing a solid relationship between the two countries? Who will be the CSS (Central Secession Sheik?) May I suggest Kid Rock?

Let them secede. I wonder how long it would take before these states realize they made a profound mistake and humbly beg for reinstatement to our great nation.

Isn't it entirely un-American to run in the opposite direction rather than stay and try to reconcile differences? If secession comes to fruition, I want to know where I can apply to be the one to smash the traditional champagne bottle at the good riddance event.

Patrick R. Lynch, Nottingham

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