The most irritating holiday songs

The holidays are on us in full force, and the holiday music is omnipresent and inescapable. Some of it may stimulate good cheer, but — let’s face it — a lot of it merely simulates good cheer, and is annoying to boot. We have put together a little list of the songs that make you cringe as soon as they start.

“The Little Drummer Boy”

Eternity will be shorter.

“The Twelve Days of Christmas”

Even more tedious than “The Little Drummer Boy”

“Winter Wonderland”

“Conspire” was the best Richard B. Smith could come up with to rhyme with “fire”?

“Let It Snow”

Are you sure you want this? Are you really sure?

“Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”

What are we, 12 years old?

“The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late)”

What are we now, 6 years old?

The Singing Dogs’ “Jingle Bells”

Barking is no improvement over the insipid lyrics.

“Baby It’s Cold Outside”

Creepy.

“Santa Baby”

Lacks the sophistication of “Baby It’s Cold Outside.”

“Santa Claus Is Coming to Town”

You have been under surveillance.

There are more, but why compound your irritation by considering them?

Pah-rum-pa-pum-pum.

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