Another agenda item for the Frederick County Commission

You may have seen that I published a snarkish item last week about the Frederick County Commission's ordinance establishing English as the official language of the county.

But really, all sarcasm aside, the honorable gentlemen are doing their humble best to preserve Our Threatened American Way of Life. I did suggest subsequently that they might make football the official sport of the county to prevent soccer from insinuating itself. On further consideration, I see that they have a great deal more territory to cover if they are to secure themselves and their constituents against the Alien Menace.

I suggest that at their next meeting they consider an ordinance establishing white bread as the official bread of the county. Otherwise, the prospect of the tortilla making inroads is a threat to be considered. Oh, it may be one of those clouds no bigger than a man's hand on the horizon, but who can say how quickly it might advance? Could Taco Bell be a Trojan horse? Really, if one gap remains in the fortifications, the barbarians will break through.

Just trying to be helpful.


Copyright © 2018, The Baltimore Sun, a Baltimore Sun Media Group publication | Place an Ad