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Chris Dufresne's Top 25

1. Alabama (8-0): Nick Saban celebrated 60th birthday Monday by scaring kids off his porch. (1)

2. LSU (8-0):Sorry Les Miles, only "hat" welcome where you're headed is Houndstooth. (2)

3. Stanford (8-0): Andrew Luck should save his pick-six plays for Santa Anita racetrack. (3)

4. Oklahoma State (8-0): Cowboys defense has created more turnovers than Pillsbury. (5)

5. Boise State (7-0): Word on street is school about to hire new schedule-strength coach. (4)

6. Oklahoma (7-1): After Texas Tech loss it felt good to pound somebody by 41 points. (8)

7. Oregon (7-1): Coach Chip Kelly so bored with winning he started QB controversy. (7)

8. Arkansas (7-1): Only in BCS world could Hogs jump three spots after comeback victory at Vanderbilt. (9)

9. Nebraska (7-1): Huskers moving through Big Ten schedule with Rex Burkhead of steam. (13)

10. Virginia Tech (8-1): Check UPS tracking for fruitcake shipped to commemorate four-point victory over Duke. (14)

11. Houston (8-0): At Alabama-Birmingham on Saturday in BCS flyweight undercard to LSU-Alabama. (16)

12. South Carolina (7-1): Signs point toward another SEC title-game massacre. (15)

13. Clemson (8-1): Defeat saves ACC awkwardness of champion losing title-game spot to Boise. (6)

14. Penn State (8-1): Famous ogre in Green Bay once said: "Ugly isn't everything, it's the only thing." (21)

15. Kansas State (7-1): Now called "Kansas Steak" after getting grilled by Oklahoma. (10)

16. Michigan State (6-2): Team from giant auto industry state never imagined getting run over by Lincoln. (11)

17. Wisconsin (6-2): English comp professor tells class to rewrite last two endings. (12)

18. Arizona State (6-2): UCLA minion Max Headroom says 6-8 quarterback too tall to enter Rose Bowl tunnel. (19)

19. USC (6-2): Morley Safer says only Lane Kiffin could turn one second into a

"60 Minutes" episode. (20)

20. Georgia Tech (7-2): Deli serving "ham on bye" sandwich between Clemson and Virginia Tech. (NR)

21. West Virginia (6-2): Players required to wear law suits and ties for remaining Big East games. (23)

22. Michigan (7-1): Wolverines already have matched last year's victory total under coach Poor Rodriguez. (22)

23. Georgia (6-2): If Boise played Georgia's grueling schedule it would be hosting

New Mexico State this week. (24)

24. Texas (5-2): Replay of 43-0 victory over Kansas will be shown on Goose Egg Network. (25)

25. Auburn (6-3): Scraping Tigers out of top 25 tough as getting chewing gum off shoe. (NR)

Dropped out: Texas A&M (17), Texas Tech (18).

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