News item: Former Ravens quarterbacks coach Hue Jackson has been hired by the Oakland Raiders to be head coach Tom Cable's offensive coordinator.
My take: It's fair to wonder why anyone would want to join the dysfunctional Raiders organization, but Cable's situation is so tenuous that Jackson's got a puncher's chance of opening next season as head coach.
Related news item: The Ravens have hired former New England Patriots defensive coordinator Dean Pees to be the new linebackers coach, replacing the departed Vic Fangio.
My take: Congratulations, Dean. You get instant admission into my Funny Sports Names Hall of Fame. You'll be getting a welcoming letter soon from me and NASCAR legend Dick Trickle.
Loosely related news item: Free agent pitcher Chien-Ming Wang is being courted by several teams, even though he might not be ready to return from shoulder surgery until early summer.
My take: Haven't heard a whisper about him from the Warehouse, but I'd be all for him coming to Baltimore -- if only to produce the greatest headline in the history of my blog ÃÂ wait for it ÃÂ "Schmuck interviews Wang."
News item: The Orioles brought back Miguel Tejada this week, signing him to a one-year, $6 million contract to replace Melvin Mora at third base.
My take: He'll be a bargain if he can replicate last year's offensive numbers -- which is quite possible -- but he could be an adventure at the hot corner. Whatever happens, he's going to add an entertaining new dimension to the 2010 season.
News item: The 14th annual Maryland State Police Polar Bear Plunge takes place on Saturday at Sandy Point State Park. Proceeds benefit Special Olympics Maryland.
My take: This may sound like blackmail, but if you make a donation, I promise I won't take my shirt off when I dive into the icy Chesapeake.
News item: New Hall of Famer Andre Dawson will be displayed on his plaque at Cooperstown wearing a Montreal Expos cap.
My take: That, of course, is pending a lawsuit by the Orioles claiming that if an Expo is inducted into the Hall of Fame, the O's are entitled to two-thirds of the broadcast revenue from that year's ceremony.
News item: Turns out, Roberto Alomar will be inducted into the Hall of Fame this summer after all.
My take: It'll be the Canadian Baseball Hall of Fame, but it should be a nice warm-up for his likely induction at Cooperstown in 2011.
News item: The Oakland A's signed pitcher Ben Sheets, who missed all of last season after elbow surgery, to a one-year deal worth a guaranteed $10 million plus incentives.
My take: That's quite a gamble for the revenue-challenged A's, but that's why Billy Beane is one of the most dynamic GMs in baseball.
News item: The NBA has fined Labron James $25,000 for kicking a water bottle during Wednesday night's 109-95 victory over the Timberwolves.
My take: Wow. If Major League Baseball was that sensitive to the rights of inanimate objects, Lou Piniella would be in debtors prison.
News item: President Barack Obama said in an interview with ABC's Diane Sawyer that he'll be rooting for the New Orleans Saints in next week's Super Bowl.
My take: That was the other thing promised to Senator Mary Landrieu for her vote on health care.
Listen to Peter Schmuck when he hosts "Sportsline" on WBAL (1090 AM) and check out "The Schmuck Stops Here" at baltimoresun.com/schmuckblog.