What if they held a Super Bowl and nobody watched?
Perhaps an unthinkable notion, but we might find out the answer to that very question Feb. 1, when the Pittsburgh Steelers play those other guys.
Somehow - and, honestly, I give all the credit in the world to Kurt Warner and Larry Fitzgerald - the gang that couldn't pass straight for more than 60 years is going to tee it up for Super Bowl X-something in Tampa, Fla. But that doesn't mean that any of us has to sit through an entire day of John Madden, Bruce Springsteen, 3-D commercials and Troy Polamalu setting a Super Bowl record for interception returns.
The coming matchup is billed as the team that has never been there against a team that's a charter member in the Super Bowl frequent visitors club. But the football Cardinals have none of the broad charm of baseball's perennial loser, the Chicago Cubs.
Heck, even in their own city and state, the Cardinals aren't the favorite team for a ton of folks. As a sunny refuge for cold-weather expatriates, Phoenix probably has as many Bears fans or, for that matter, Steelers diehards as it does Cardinals fans. One Web site lists 24 Steelers bars in Arizona, three right in Glendale, where the Cards' stadium sits.
In short, the Cardinals are a team no one really cares about. On Super Bowl Sunday, there's no reason for you to, either.