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Pettitte-Waters? Pretty weak

The Baltimore Sun

News item: The New York Yankees will allow fans onto the field for a three-hour period today before ceremonies begin to celebrate the final game ever played at Yankee Stadium.

My take: Nice touch. Fans can file past the monuments and walk around the warning track, but there will still be that one drunk guy who has to be subdued in center field in the seventh inning. I just hope it's not Reggie Jackson.

News item: Chris Waters will start for the Orioles tonight. Andy Pettitte will be the starter for the Yankees.

My take: Not exactly Jim Palmer vs. Whitey Ford, but it couldn't be helped.

News item: The Milwaukee Brewers lost the coin flip to see who would be the home team if they have to play a wild-card tiebreaker game against the New York Mets.

My take: Brewers management was not available for comment, but interim manager Dale Sveum apparently will keep his job for now.

News item: Joe Flacco is set to make his second start as Ravens quarterback today at M&T; Bank Stadium after the team's unscheduled bye week.

My take: The big quarterback in the orange helmet will be Derek Anderson, in case you have trouble telling them apart.

News item: NFL referee Ed Hochuli apologized to San Diego Chargers fans for the ill-timed whistle that allowed the Denver Broncos to avoid a turnover and stage a last-gasp comeback last week.

My take: Well, at least they did everything possible to make sure they got the call right on that Cleveland Browns game-tying field goal at M&T; Bank Stadium last season.

News item: Rick Neuheisel lost for the first time as UCLA coach last weekend when Brigham Young blew out the Bruins, 59-0.

My take: Pete Carroll has lost 14 games in his seven years as coach at crosstown rival Southern California - by a combined total of 59 points. Strange but true.

News item: The Orioles play four games against the Tampa Bay Rays at Camden Yards starting tomorrow night.

My take: Wouldn't it be something - and not a good something - if the Rays end up pouring champagne all over themselves in the visitors' clubhouse after one of those games?

News item: Miami Dolphins linebacker Joey Porter said Wednesday that beating the Tom Brady-less New England Patriots "shouldn't be that hard."

My take: Why wouldn't he be confident going into Foxborough? The Dolphins, at last count, have won exactly one of their past 21 regular-season games, dating to Week 14 of the 2006 season.

News item: A congressional panel is charging that there has been substantial "waste and abuse of public dollars" in the financing of the new Yankee Stadium, which is set to open in April.

My take: Why am I not surprised that members of a subcommittee of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform are getting around to this after the stadium is all but complete. Would somebody please close the barn door? That horse ain't coming back.

News item: The New Orleans Saints have signed Joey Harrington to be their third-string quarterback behind Drew Brees and Mark Brunell.

My take: I'm guessing he's in playing shape. I mean, is there a team he hasn't worked out for this month?

News item: Alex and Cynthia Rodriguez reportedly have reached an "amicable" divorce settlement after their marriage fractured over A-Rod's alleged infidelity.

My take: I believe the word "amicable" is legalese for $50 million, but the actual terms have not been disclosed.

News item: Sometime in the next few days, the Los Angeles Dodgers figure to clinch the National League West title and give manager Joe Torre his 13th straight trip to the playoffs.

My take: The Yankees, meanwhile, will miss the playoffs for the first time since the playoffs were canceled in 1994. I'm pretty sure this is known as karma.

Listen to Peter Schmuck on WBAL (1090 AM) at noon most Saturdays and Sundays.

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