As a pickup line, "I'm Joba Chamberlain" certainly beats "I've lost my number; can I have yours?" And, according to a young man who apparently enjoyed a fruitful summer on the Jersey Shore, the pitcher's pitch helped him hit home runs.
Ryan Ward, a 29-year-old unemployed resident of Asbury Park, bears a resemblance to the New York Yankees' pitcher. So he started telling people that's who he was. To hear him tell it - to the New York Post, no less - it was great to be young and a pretend Yankee, especially when it came to women.
"Well, I hooked up with over 62 at least," Ward told the Post, in what Mr. Flip is certain wasn't a manufactured quote but a true reference to Chamberlain's number. "I got slapped a few times and yelled at, too, but I'd say there were about 20 or 30 of them who had no idea who I really was.
"Some of them found it amusing. Some of them didn't even care."
Ward was arrested and charged with stealing Chamberlain's identity. He is free on $10,000 bail.
"It was fun acting as him, but it spun out of control quickly," Ward said. "I didn't mean any harm. I probably wouldn't do it again."
Note the "probably." Mr. Flip guesses that depends on the hotness of the next woman he spies at a bar. In any case, the real Joba Chamberlain wants to meet the fake one.
"I want to know what he was thinking," Chamberlain said.
Geez, that can't be hard to figure out.
(Tip of the Flip to deadspin.com.)
Under where?
The Lingerie Bowl, that Super Bowl halftime event - have there really been five of them already? - is expanding into the Lingerie Football League. Befitting the event's subtle, subdued approach, the team names are as follows: Atlanta Steam, Chicago Bliss, Miami Caliente, New England Euphoria, Tampa Breeze, Dallas Desire, Los Angeles Temptation, Phoenix Scorch, San Diego Seduction and Seattle Mist. The local franchise, the Catonsville Control Tops, apparently didn't make the cut.
(Tip of the Flip to fark.com.)
The Schmuck stops ... no, he doesn't
Perhaps Mr. Flip's colleague Peter Schmuck didn't think he would hear the shot taken at the Flip visage on Schmuck's WBAL radio show Saturday. That's not a bad assumption, given that hardly anyone listens to Schmuck.
A caller to the show asked about the stylish bag Mr. Flip wears over his head. Schmuck replied: "Believe me, that bag over his head is a public service."
Only Mrs. Flip is allowed to talk like that.
Vandals got back
It apparently wasn't embarrassing enough that the University of Idaho football team is called the Vandals. There was also the new adornment to the Idaho uniforms - even though it lasted just one game.
On the back of the Vandals' uniform pants was a large "I" with a script "Vandals" that ran across the player's rear end. To put it most delicately, it was not a good look.
Idaho athletic director Rob Spear told the Idaho Statesman: "I was disappointed with the look and the appearance. We didn't realize how noticeable it would be until it was on our players."
So after one game - a 70-0 loss to Arizona a weekend ago - it's no more "I" on the butt. There was a misunderstanding with the designer, Nike.
The Statesman wrote: "Spear said the logo was supposed to be higher up on the pant, closer to the belt line."
Hey, it could have been worse. The logo could have been on the other side of the pants.
Compiled from news service and Web reports by Mr. Flip, the back of whose pants contain no words except for the occasional "kick me" sign slapped on by Schmuck.