STAFF CRITICS' TAKES ON THE TOP MOVIES
What it's about : Vin Diesel (above) stars as a sullen bruiser who must reluctantly escort a mysterious, angelic young person (Melanie Thierry) to a far-off destination - the promised land of New York.
The scoop : This is not a terrible movie, but it quickly degenerates into chases and gunfights and not much else.
Grade : * 1/2
What it's about: A relentless mashup of pop-culture references such as parodies of Juno, American Gladiators, Indiana Jones and Amy Winehouse, starring Vanessa Minnillo (above).
The scoop : It's a scattershot blast aimed at teens with an extremely short attention span and a girl-fighting fixation.
Grade : No stars
What it's about: An aging critic and academic (Ben Kingsley) sees an intoxicatingly beautiful student (Penelope Cruz, above) as his last chance for ecstasy.
The scoop: Kingsley is miscast, but Cruz and the supporting players (Patricia Clarkson, Peter Sarsgaard and Dennis Hopper) are superb.
What it's about: The drama coach at a Tucson high school strives to save his program by mounting the wildly ambitious Hamlet 2 - like The Godfather Part II, both a sequel and a prequel to a work of genius.
The scoop: Ace British comic actor Steve Coogan (above) gets his best chance so far to strut his smart-silly stuff in an American movie, and he nails it; he creates a character whose exuberance knows no limits. Neither does his bad taste.
Grade: *** 1/2
What it's about: The members of a struggling sorority have a thing or two to learn from a banished Playboy bunny (Anna Faris, above), and vice versa.
: Rated PG-13
The scoop: The underdog plot isn't anything new. Faris, as the ditzy but good-hearted ex-bunny, delivers a flat-out hilarious performance.
Grade : ** 1/2
: Star Wars: The Clone Wars
What it's about: Lucasfilm's new feature-length cartoon gives fanboys and fangirls their chance to see sweeping big-screen images of the Jedi (including Yoda, above) using their clone armies to protect the Republic.
The scoop: It's not exactly thrilling, but its good humor and faith in the Force will put adults in a Saturday-morning frame of mind.
Grade: ** 1/2
What it's about: A failing action star (Ben Stiller, above), a drug-addicted comic (Jack Black) and a celebrated Australian actor (Robert Downey Jr.) stumble onto real guerrillas while making a war film.
The scoop: Downey is daringly funny as a white man from Down Under playing an African-American soldier. At its best, this movie wrings divine madness from wretched excess.
Vicky Cristina Barcelona
What it's about: In Barcelona, romantic complications swirl around an artist (Scarlett Johansson, above), a grad student (Rebecca Hall), a painter (Javier Bardem) and the painter's ex-wife (Penelope Cruz).
The scoop: Woody Allen's affectionate, enlightening and, best of all, blissfully entertaining movie shows how much residue sexual desire or experience leaves in the brain and gut and heart.