I SUPPOSE I am his mistress. It's wonderful, isn't it?"
So said Britain's Marjorie Wallace, speaking about her relationship with the Earl of Snowden. (I know - you thought it was Madonna, fessing up on A-Rod.)
The earl was not amused by his now former lover's candor. Snowden, ex-husband of the late Princess Margaret (Queen Elizabeth's sister), is the subject of a juicy new biography by Anne de Courcy. He cooperated with the author and spoke candidly. Too late he realized he had been too candid.
In the wake of that, Snowden ordered other intimates to shut up. Wallace, founder of the mental health charity, Sane, didn't get that royal memo. She gave newspaper interviews in which she talked about her five-year affair with the onetime commoner Anthony Armstrong-Jones. Now she's on Snowden's Out List. (In London slang, he's "binned" her.) She is married to Count Andrzej Skarbek and lives with a long-term male companion.
All terribly civilized and sophisticated.
Kabbalah and cabals
What is definitely not civilized or sophisticated is the Madonna/Alex Rodriguez situation.
The Web is alive with bloggers and haters insisting that this is all "publicity" dreamed up by Madonna to hype her Hard Candy album and coming concert. Really? There are a million more attractive avenues of publicity than being painted as a homewrecking femme fatale and/or brainwashing cult leader. (The "Sticky and Sweet" concert dates are sell-outs, no matter the rumors otherwise. The album has underperformed in the U.S., but if Madonna were really worried about that, she'd just go on Letterman, and belt out the new single. Whatever this is, it ain't carefully choreographed publicity.)
What do I know? Just what you know. After days of silence, Madonna firmly denied all, and says she has no plans to split from hubby Guy Ritchie. (Maybe somebody forced her to look at the newspapers.) Cynthia Rodriguez has split from Alex and blames Madonna and Kabbalah as the "last straw."
The men in the middle, Guy and Alex? Silent. Look at that as a good thing.
Chatterboxes who say they are close to Jennifer Aniston insist that she feels "free" to heat up her relationship with rocker John Mayer, now that her ex, Brad Pitt, has given her a "thumbs up." Supposedly he was thumb-less during Aniston's affair with Vince Vaughn, but Brad's all gung-ho about Jen 'n' John.
You'd think with the eternally fertile and maternal Angelina Jolie on his hands - about to give birth to twins - Brad would be too busy to give much thought to Jennifer's path to happiness. But I guess he's just that kind of guy - love 'em, leave 'em, still love 'em. (In a concerned, brotherly way.)
A new Madonna?
Miley Cyrus, 15, created a bit of news over the Fourth of July weekend, saying she wants to be "the next Madonna." Good luck on that! The Hannah Montana star has already made her Disney employers nervous with provocative Web site photos and that infamous Vanity Fair layout.
Miley seems determined to grow up fast. Her new best friend is one of her backup dancers, Mandy Jiroux, 21. In case you're interested, Mandy has posted some racy pics of herself on her own MySpace site.