If I'm a Buffalo Bills fan, I'm fuming right about now. Steam is rising off me like Thurman Thomas' shaved head in sub-zero weather. I'm angrier than Cornelius Bennett each time he checks his birth certificate to make sure his parents really named him "Cornelius."
I feel jilted and used. It's prom night all over again.
I do my part to sell out 35-year-old Ralph Wilson Stadium, where installing cup holders in 1999 qualified as a renovation. Where a closer inspection reveals that the seat cushion I've been using actually is a sheet of ice. Where the season-ticket holders next to me are a family of penguins.
I keep coming back -- despite all the Super Bowl blowouts, the O.J. Simpson jokes, Jim Kelly's bad hair -- and how do the Bills show their appreciation for my undying loyalty? By moving their games to Toronto.
What's next, playing with three downs?
The Bills will get $78 million to play eight games in Toronto over the next five years. Money talks -- and apparently much louder than all the cheering I've done, which is quite a challenge when your lungs are filled with frost and your quarterback is J.P. Losman.
The Bills will "host" the Pittsburgh Steelers in a preseason game in Toronto on Aug. 14. I hope they lose by a rouge.