CHICAGO -- Research tells us that people are happier and more productive when they have good friends at work, but the fact is, most of us don't.
Fewer than one in three U.S. employees has a close friend at work, someone in whom they confide, reports a University of Michigan study. Americans also are less likely to extend professional ties outside work than their counterparts in other cultures, even though they feel energized when they do, the study found.
"If socializing with co-workers is energizing, why don't we do it more often?" asks co-author Aleksandra Kacperczyk, a doctoral student at the university's Ross School of Business, who, by the way, did not socialize with either of her co-authors.
The researchers conclude that America's work ethic - work and pleasure don't mix - may explain the cultural differences.
At least this much is certain: Office friendships can get complicated.
"The reason it's so complicated is you need positive, strong connections at work to want to go there," says author and friendship expert Jan Yager. "Friendship is based on openness and trust and self-disclosure, and in the workplace this can backfire."
Marketing executive Dan O'Brien lost two good friends when their work relationship went sour. They had grown close while collaborating at a large ad agency in Chicago, so tight, in fact, that they attended one another's family celebrations.
The rift occurred when an important client put its account up for review. O'Brien, who managed the account, geared up to fight for it, but his friends, who worked on the creative team, felt it was a lost cause.
"I really lashed out at these guys," recalls O'Brien, 51, now president of interactive marketing agency Brand Clariti in Chicago. "It was traumatic. I was the leader, and it was going to be on my back that this account walked out the door after 50 years. I felt a lack of passion and commitment from them. I felt like they betrayed us. It was cold, it was icy."
A year later, after the client fired the agency, O'Brien apologized, but it was too late.
The experience didn't stop him from mixing work and friendship, but he's fully aware of the risks.
"I've got some great friends that I'm doing business with now," he says. "I'm always very conscious of the fact that something could upend the relationship."
Barbara Rose writes for the Chicago Tribune.