The state troopers who drive Martin O'Malley around can be trusted to know where they're going, but not to flip on the windshield wipers when it rains.
So it seems from the specs for a new SUV the state is thinking about buying. In a bid solicitation for a 2008 Chevy Suburban 3LT for the governor's office, the state says it can do without the optional OnStar navigation system (which, incidentally, is free for the first year).
But bring on the "Rainsense" wipers and heated wiper fluid. Six-disc CD player. Rear DVD player. "Leather-appointed" seating. Tri-zone automatic climate control. Heated seat cushions and backs.
O'Malley is hardly the only governor who gets chauffeured around in half-ton, four-wheel-drive style. Bob Ehrlich had basically the same SUV, though it was leased. Across the country, gubernatorial rumps enjoy the heated seats and other extras that jack up the list price to about $48,000.
Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick last year chose something cheaper than that - a $46,000 Cadillac DTS - and took so much heat that he agreed to kick in $543 a month toward the lease. But O'Malley's Suburban is a bargain compared to Prince George's County Exec Jack Johnson's Escalade. Those start at $56,890.
It's safe to say Jerry Brown didn't start a trend back when he was California governor and turned down the traditional limo for a state-fleet Plymouth. Today, as California attorney general, Brown rides in something that "looks like an old cop car," said spokesman Gareth Lacy. But less is less to the nation's non-Moonbeam bigwigs.
"It's a very popular vehicle for governors," said GM spokeswoman Carolyn Markey, noting that the Suburban 3LT is the standard model offered to government officials through the company's executive lease program. "The reason is the utility, the number of people you can seat and the amount of equipment."
You can cram as much cargo and people into the base model. So why don't governors, particularly in tight budget times, go for that?
Downgrading to cloth seats, regular wipers and whatnot wouldn't save that much, Markey said. (About $7,000, based on GM Web site figures. Not exactly enough to fully fund Thornton, but still.)
"Think of it like going to McDonald's," she said. "You could go to McDonald's and get a hamburger, Coke and fries. But you'll get a better deal if you get the Happy Meal."
Right now the governor's office leases several Suburbans from GM. With the lease up this month, officials are trying to figure out if it would be cheaper to buy.
If the state is trying to save money, why not do without some of the bells and whistles?
Said state police spokesman Greg Shipley: "All I can say is we're using the same specs we were using before."
Break up to make up
Dru Hill, the chart-topping R&B; act that got its start singing at The Fudgery in Harborplace, offered sweet news to fans the other day. In the studios of Baltimore's 92Q-FM, the group announced it was getting back together.
But the reunion was over before the guys wrapped up their radio interview.
It started on a positive note Thursday, with Marc Clarke of the Big Phat Morning Show getting misty like Hillary Clinton in a New Hampshire coffee shop.
"Man, there's a tear in my eye," Clarke said as he welcomed the four original members - Sisqo, Jazz, Woody and Nokio - to the studio.
Then Clarke got around to asking Woody, who's also had a solo gospel career, to say a few words.
"I'm just loving the brotherhood right now," he said. "But at the same time, man, it's just basically, I feel like since I left the first time, just, I been called by God on an assignment and it's something I have to do."
The assignment, apparently, does not involve making more hits like "In My Bed" - much less Sisqo's solo "Thong Song."
"I'm going to go do what God's telling me to do, which is minister and do my gospel thing," Woody said.
Expressions of disbelief and a brief in-studio scuffle ensued.
The station promptly posted video of the whole thing on its Web site under this breathless headline: "See Dru Hill get back together ... and then break up 10 minutes later!!!" Within 24 hours, nearly 140,000 people had watched it on YouTube.
Publicity stunt?
If it was, the station wasn't in on it, according to Neke, a 92Q on-air personality and program director.
"I'm under the assumption that it's real," she said.
Politicians, not mathematicians
The Maryland GOP makes the case for more education funding, at least in math, in a news release about a new poll: "In just two months, Governor O'Malley's overall approval rating plummeted by another 6 percent, from 39 percent to 37 percent."
Steve Lebowitz of Annapolis did the math and came up with 5.12 percent.
"And these guys say they know how to balance the state budget?" said Lebowitz, who'd like to thank his beloved sixth-grade teacher, Mrs. Trueman, for his math skills.
(Full disclosure: I thought the release had a second percentage wrong, but the math error was my own. I'd like to blame my sixth-grade teacher, Mr. Bernstein.)
Said Maryland GOP executive director John Flynn: "No matter how you do the math, a lot of people don't like Martin O'Malley."