FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. -- The hardest part wasn't looking at the large red scar that started at his right elbow and extended up his arm, a constant reminder of the surgery that will rob him of nearly an entire major league season in the prime of his career.
It wasn't his nightly stays on the couch in his Virginia home, watching his teammates struggle through one deflating loss after another. Orioles reliever Chris Ray could deal with those things, but the walk through his garage, past a bucket of baseballs and his glove that remained untouched, was too much to bear.
"Once I got the brace and everything off and my arm was free, I just wanted to go pick one [of the baseballs] up and throw it against the wall," Ray said. "It's just one of those things that was tough."
Ray, who had ligament reconstruction surgery in August, feels much better now. The 26-year-old closer has been throwing on flat ground for about two weeks, and his elbow feels as strong as it ever has. Ray left Orioles camp yesterday and made the drive to the club's minor league complex in Sarasota to continue a throwing program he hopes will have him back on a major league mound in August.
"That's my goal right now," Ray said. "My arm feels loose. I feel like I still have good pop on the ball. I think from the beginning of the throwing program, it's two months before I get on the mound. It's already been two weeks. I'm already on my way."
The Orioles, fully immersed in the rebuilding process, don't figure to be playing for much when Ray is ready to return, but that doesn't matter to the reliever.
"I want to prove to myself and the rest of the club that I'm back to being 100 percent," he said. "You can't do that in the bullpen. The only way to can do that is to go out there and pitch the way that you are capable of pitching. Obviously, it's going to be the club's decision with what they want to do. But barring a setback, hopefully they'll let me go out there and get some innings in."
Ray has rented a house in Sarasota and said the only thing on his mind over the next couple of months will be getting back with the Orioles. He has already lost some weight and said he's in the best shape of his professional baseball career. Now, what is left is allowing his throwing arm to catch up to the rest of his body.
Ray has spent the past two weeks abbreviating his herky-jerky windup and firing balls to one of the Orioles' athletic trainers. He started at 45 feet and progressed to 90 feet. After making 25 throws, he has retreated to the weight room for more arm-strengthening exercises. Manager Dave Trembley described Ray's work ethic and attitude as "tremendous."
Said Ray, who saved 49 games for the Orioles the past two seasons: "This is my job. This is my livelihood."
Even before the surgery, the 2007 season was shaping up to be a difficult one for Ray. In his third appearance, he surrendered a walk-off grand slam to the New York Yankees' Alex Rodriguez. He then turned in eight scoreless outings before blowing a save against the Boston Red Sox on Wily Mo Pena's grand slam. He blew another save against the Red Sox about two weeks later at Fenway Park in the Orioles' infamous five-run, ninth-inning collapse.
When he was officially shut down in late June, Ray had a 4.43 ERA, had suffered six losses (the most among American League relievers) and had blown four saves in 20 opportunities. A season earlier in his first full campaign as Orioles closer, Ray had a 2.73 ERA and had converted 33 of 38 save opportunities.
"I don't think [my elbow] really affected my pitching," Ray said. "I just kind of [stunk]."
Ray said he has forgotten about his early struggles last season and is choosing to focus on his final six appearances, in which he didn't allow a run and struck out 11 batters over six innings. That and thoughts of rejoining his teammates are what drives him. Ray viewed pretty much every game after leaving the team, including the historic 30-3 loss to the Texas Rangers on Aug. 22.
"You just feel bad for the guys out there," he said. "Nobody is out there trying to give up runs. It seems in a game like that, you can never stop the bleeding. The games were tough, but I wasn't going to sit there and feel sorry for myself.
"I think of all these guys. I want to get back here with them. I love to compete. I've been playing sports all my life. I don't want to sit there on the couch and watch. The only way for me to get back out there and play is to work the hardest that I can."
Before saying goodbye to some of his teammates yesterday, Ray told club officials he will see them when the Orioles are in St. Petersburg to face the Tampa Bay Rays.
"I'm already looking forward to it," Trembley said.
jeff.zrebiec@baltsun.com