You tend to drive very carefully when you have a tropical fish in the car.
I have transported live fish a couple of times over the years, and every time, I think to myself, "I should always drive this mindfully. The very presence of this fish makes me a better driver; I'm definitely smoother, gentler, and more considerate."
A week ago, my daughter mentioned that she wanted to buy a fish for a friend. I was not surprised when she asked me to come along on the errand so that I could drive her home while she cradled the little plastic container safely and securely. I decided to mention to her what I had noticed about the effects of a live fish in a car on a person's driving skills.
"I think I drive much more carefully with this betta fish in the car," I remarked astutely.
"You're probably right," she said.
"Maybe everyone should be required to keep a betta fish in a small plastic container on the dashboard, as an incentive to drive carefully," I said. She smiled.
Encouraged, I went on. "For instance, people with learner's permits. They should be assigned a fish with their permit. And all people who are deemed insurance risks due to multiple accidents and aggressive driving -- they should get a full aquarium."
My daughter considered my outrageous suggestion as if it were viable.
"Well," she said, "it would probably work. But wouldn't you think that having a person in the car would be enough incentive to drive carefully?"
We had a laugh about that; about how we routinely don't think twice about taking a corner too sharply, braking suddenly, or accelerating too quickly when a stoplight turns green.
But when you have a fish in the car, the water sloshes around if you make any sudden moves. The fish is jostled. I'm not sure the fish is jostled any more than he would be out there in a river or an ocean, but my point is, you feel responsible for its discomfort when you are taking it for a spin.
In short, a fish serves as an effective, tangible reminder of our fragility within the car, as well as the vulnerability of others sharing the road with us.
And only the real thing works. Because while we might think we could imagine we were transporting tropical fishes, or pretend our passengers are seat-belted bettas, such thoughts would not persist. The minute we turn the radio on, or run into a huge traffic jam with vehicles jockeying for the best position in the best lane, or simply decide to get around that slowpoke cruising along 20 miles below the speed limit, our sloppy driving habits invariably creep back in.
Not with a fish, let me tell you. The little waves you create are so obvious, and you really don't want to send the fish flying. And then there is the additional concern that any spilled water on the seats or floor mats may result in an odor not assuaged by the standard hanging pine-tree air freshener.
But I'm not sure people would go for this excellent fishbowl method for increased driving safety. I think they would probably just print up fishbowl-shaped magnets that say "Betta on Board" and stick them to the sides of their vehicles.
Right now, in Howard County, there are a lot of people driving around with bumper stickers that say "Choose Civility." This is a nice reminder, and I appreciate it. But I believe -- in order for it to be truly effective -- it should be posted inside the vehicle, where the driver can see it.
Maybe at the top of the windshield, right above the fishbowl.
Contact Janet at janet@janetgil bert.net.