I despise Valentine's Day, and yet I end up celebrating it: The rampant commercialism works.
We're bombarded with commercials, e-mails and fliers, all sharing the best way to show our love. I noticed that a pizza franchise is even getting in on the act -- selling heart-shaped pizza for a limited time.
Katrina Birrell, 33, of Patterson Park agrees with me -- at least on the heart-day hate. "I'm a little bitter and twisted when I'm not with someone," she says. "I like [Valentine's Day] in theory. I like the thought of having a special day and doing something romantic." But the reality often doesn't match up, she adds.
However, it appears we're in the minority.
Shane White, 35, of Columbia is looking forward to the day.
"I'm hoping my husband comes through," she says. "With the flowers to the office and everything. Yes, delivered, with the teddy bear and balloons. I want to go all out."
This will be her second Valentine's with her husband, and she's looking for a better one than the last, when she received the usual candy and flowers but was expecting a getaway of some kind. This year, she left hints with notes and brochures.
"I had the arrow this year, directing him," she says, laughing. "Go right, man. Go right."
Gaby Hess of Pikesville says that if she were coupled up, she would expect the whole shebang -- the flowers, the dinner, the box of chocolates. Hess, 34, says she respects the opinion of those who don't love the holiday, but to be with her, you've got to fake it to make it. Recognize that it's a big deal to her.
But even still, Hess says that she had the best Valentine's days when she was single -- like the year in college when her friends sent her candygrams and her parents sent flowers.
"When I'm with someone, it's never what I expect it to be," she says. "It's less of an expectation when I'm single."
Anthony Weldon, 27, has celebrated only two Valentine's days with a significant other. The Towson resident says they didn't really exchange gifts, but he did buy his girlfriend a watch once (which kind of sounds like she didn't exchange gifts).
Nonetheless, the Valentine's Day burden often falls on the guys, he says, whether the cause is external or internal.
"I think that we probably think that people expect us to give gifts," he says slowly and diplomatically with a bit of a laugh. "Although our significant others may not even care."
When I asked Lucky Lewis of Randallstown what his plans were for Valentine's, there was a long pause. He and his wife will probably spend some time alone, he says. But nothing big. He does stuff for her year-round.
"You don't want to wait until one day and have to go all out," says Lewis, 41.
He gets stuff for his children -- "because I'm their Valentine," he says -- but he doesn't put a big emphasis on the gift-giving. "I don't want them to ever be pressured by anything as far as someone telling them how to spend their money or how to feel about things."
And perhaps that's really my deeper issue with V-Day. It's not just the commercialism; it's the constant drumbeat of "You must buy to show your love."
My gut reaction to someone telling me to do something is to do the exact opposite.
Perhaps, when it comes to Valentine's Day, we should simplify. I like Hess' suggestion of going back to the paper-wrapped shoeboxes that you and your elementary-school classmates dropped valentines into. Everyone can get into it -- husbands, wives, friends, co-workers -- and we can express our love for each other without big-ticket items.
Either way, I guess Tamara Fisher, 21, of Dundalk does have a point: A day based on love can't be all bad.
"It doesn't hurt to show more love," she says, "and show how much you actually appreciate [people] on that day."
maryann.james@baltsun.com