Taquila Muse of Catonsville brushes aside those who say people should be married before they live together.

"I don't agree with that," says the 27-year-old. "I think you should get to know a person, everything about them, before you actually marry them."

Tim McKinley of Huntington, N.Y., agrees.

"I think you have a better chance of making it work if you've lived with someone for a while," says the 21-year-old Loyola College student.

Living together is more common nowadays, but that doesn't mean it's gotten easier. How do you make that step? And how do you avoid mistakes?

Toni Coleman of consum mate.com says too many people have a cavalier approach to moving in.

They think "if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out," she says. "But it's a trauma. And it's expensive."

Instead, people should think hard about what they're doing before they move in, she says. Everything should be laid out on the table -- your intentions, your finances, what each person's responsibilities (bills and chores) will be in the new household.

"You've gotta sit down and have an open and honest conversation about what your expectations are in the move," she says.

If you have $15,000 in debt and are looking to save some money, say so. If you think moving in is a prelude to marriage, speak up, Coleman says.

That said, McKinley is in no rush to move in with his girlfriend of three months. He says he'll likely follow the path of his older siblings and move in with a woman when a relationship gets more serious.

Muse says she's lived with someone in all of her relationships. And the arrangements all started as many live-in relationships do -- as a matter of practicality. The idea, she says, is "you're pretty much here most of the time anyway, so why not move in?"

Muse agrees that a straightforward conversation is the way to go. Couples should be able to talk to each other about what they want, says Muse.

She says not talking is where most of her relationships went wrong. Though she's a big communicator, she says, her partners weren't.

And a lack of communication eventually ballooned into bigger problems. Like dishonesty and infidelity.

Danielle Banzon, 21, of Bel Air has not had such bad experiences. Originally from New Jersey, Banzon met her boyfriend during her freshman year at Loyola.

She lived on campus for her first semester, but moved into her own apartment that December because of problems with her roommates, she says. Her boyfriend still lived in the dorms but eventually made his way to her place.

"It took about three days before he decided, 'I'm living with you,' " she says. "And he slowly brought his stuff over. So we've kinda been living together since the start. I don't know if that's necessarily a good thing or not."

Though communication is key for keeping the peace for those already in-house, Coleman says you'll be a step ahead if you can use communication skills pre-move, too. Talk about the hot topics before cohabitation and you'll be golden.

"Nobody wants to talk about it because we're in love, and everything will work out and it's fine," she says.

But if you can't talk about it, that's a red flag that perhaps you shouldn't be moving in together in the first place, says Coleman.

No matter how you look at it, whether it's a matter of convenience or a prelude to the big "I do," just like in any relationship, it's a big risk.

"Sometimes you just take a leap of faith," says Muse. "Sometimes it can be a good thing, and sometimes it can be a terrible thing."

maryann.james@baltsun.com