LAST WEEK, Chuck Norris, the Grade-D former action "star" - and Mike Huckabee mouthpiece - declared that he thought John McCain was "too old" to become president - he would be 72 at the time of inauguration - and "too frail" to withstand the stresses of the office. Norris actually said he assumed McCain would die in office and the vice president would have to finish his term.
Two points to make here. One - Chuck Norris is an idiot. I don't mean idiot like intelligent people doing foolish things. I mean he comes off as not thinking. Just listen to him.
Two. While Norris rambled on, Mike Huckabee stood right next to him, grinning. His comment? "Only John's hairdresser knows for sure." (As McCain has white cropped hair, what did that even mean?) Now remember, Huckabee is supposed to be the "nice" candidate on the Republican side. I think he reveals himself otherwise.
Norris, himself 68, only four years younger than McCain, has a mouth full of blindingly white, impossibly pristine choppers, a tan that looks sprayed on with a trowel, and hair without a hint of silver. He resembles a figure at Madame Tussaud's.
I like McCain. He is the best of the GOP field, but I disapprove of ageism, being a woman of a certain age myself.
John McCain later said he'd have to send his 95-year-old mother over "to wash Chuck Norris' mouth out with soap." If she's not available, I will go.
A shoulder for Brit
So now Simon Cowell, known for his scathing critiques on American Idol, has offered his wisdom and comforting shoulder to Britney Spears. Geez! Wasn't Dr. Phil enough?
About the only thing Simon and Britney might have a conversation about is how much both of them hate to wear brassieres.
Don't blame Tom
I've read a number of articles that have blamed Tom Cruise for the failure of Katie Holmes' new film, Mad Money - all the negative, renewed publicity about Scientology in the Andrew Morton book, plus the ill-timed escape of that video of Tom extolling the power of his beliefs.
So I say, nertz to the idea of Tom as a career-killer. The film, which also featured Diane Keaton and Queen Latifah, didn't strike a congenial chord with moviegoers. It happens.
Holmes is lovely and talented. I don't think audiences care too much about what her husband bases his philosophy of life on. (I mean, as long as human sacrifice is not involved.)
Katie will be just fine. Nicole Kidman's career didn't suffer from her marriage to Tom. Of course, it didn't soar until they split.