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Roddick's game pans out even with half-baked gear

The Baltimore Sun

Comedian and television producer Todd Gallagher has a new book that sets out to answer the kinds of sports questions that are in the realm of "If Superman and the Flash had a race, who would win?"

(Mr. Flip actually had the comic book that answered that question, but he can't recall what happened. And Mom Flip threw out his comic books a long time ago.)

The book is called Andy Roddick Beat Me With a Frying Pan, because Gallagher, a longtime tennis player, faced off against the former U.S. Open champ with Roddick using a pan instead of a racket. (Roddick was able to win at least one point.)

The book also considers the matter of trying to score on a 1,000-pound hockey goalie (a college goalie was padded up like one - and it was tough to score), observes how well pro golfers do in miniature golf (just so-so) and measures a psychic's ability to win at rock, paper, scissors (less than so-so).

Mr. Flip hasn't seen the book, but he somehow doubts it tackled the burning question of whether the Orioles would win more if their road jerseys said "Baltimore."

No joking

Stop Mr. Flip if you've heard this one: A football coach walks into a bar and ends up deciding to treat the bar itself as a urinal.

Eric Schnupp, offensive line-tight ends coach for Baylor, was cited for the illegal procedure early Sunday morning, when he allegedly urinated on the bar at Scruffy Murphy's in Waco, Texas, at closing time, theWaco Tribune-Herald reported. Schnupp, who was suspended by the school, was charged with a misdemeanor that carries a $258 fine.

Earlier on Saturday, Baylor had lost to Kansas, 58-10, indicating that at least one Bears coach might be a lot more offensive than the team.

Now, play nice

MSNBC's Keith Olbermann has been dogging Fox News' Bill O'Reilly for a long time, but he recently took a side trip for a little snarky remark aimed at Stephen A. Smith. O'Reilly cited Smith, the former Philadelphia Inquirer sports columnist who hosts a daily show on ESPN Radio, as someone who has treated O'Reilly fairly during the brouhaha over what sound like his racist remarks regarding eating at a black-owned restaurant. After playing the clip of O'Reilly, Olbermann added: "By the way, when you're down to Stephen Smith, you're finished."

(Tip of the Flip to for pointing out the YouTube clip.)

Going to the dogs

Comedian Jimmy Kimmel showed up in the Monday Night Football booth this week and offered his view of the Atlanta Falcons' forced change at quarterback (according to AOL Sports' Fanhouse): "[Joey] Harrington's not a great quarterback, but he's very nice to his pets."

Compiled from wire and Web reports by Mr. Flip, who also is nice to his pets despite what they do to his carpets.

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