Gator aides

Don't mess with those Gators.

Stan Forron, owner of the Gainesville, Fla., towing company involved in burglary charges against Florida safety Tony Joiner, got the message.


The message arrived via 200 threatening phone calls - including more than 12 death threats - after Joiner briefly faced charges for going into the lot and trying to remove his girlfriend's car. Prosecutors dropped the charges after Forron said the matter was a misunderstanding.

"I'm just glad it wasn't [Gators quarterback] Tim Tebow, that's all I can say," Forron told Florida Today.


Could you repeat that?

In yet another example of how someone is always out there listening to what you say - that is, if you are on television - come these lowlights of Emmitt Smith's recent comments on ESPN, via

Meaning to say "trickles," Smith made up the word "triculates.

In picking the New England Patriots to win a game, he called them the better "golf club."

Selecting his Rookie of the Year, Smith named Denver Broncos running back Travis Henry, who is in his seventh NFL season.

Summing up, the Web site compares Smith unfavorably to his former Dallas Cowboys teammate Michael Irvin, who never was accused of eloquence during his ESPN stint: "Think ESPN wants a do-over on that signing? Emmitt makes 'The Playmaker' look like Peter Jennings."

Where's Dad?

Tiger Woods even makes news when he doesn't show up somewhere.


The latest occurred Sunday in Stockholm, Sweden, when Woods' first child, Sam Alexis Woods (hey, how about getting your name in boldface when you're only 4 months old?), was baptized. Mother Elin Nordegren was there, but Pops was playing in a charity golf event in California.

A source close to the family told Swedish media: "Everybody was very surprised over the fact that Tiger did not show up."

Compiled from wire and Web reports by Mr. Flip, who wasn't at the baptism or the golf event.