News item: The Ravens host the Philadelphia Eagles in their first preseason game tomorrow night at M&T; Bank Stadium.
My take: I'm already getting pre-emptive angry e-mails from Eagles fans just in case I decide to take any cheap shots at them this year.
Bonus take: I love it when the Eagles come to town. It's the only time all year you're allowed to tailgate outside Central Booking.
News item: Baseball legend Hank Aaron praised Barry Bonds on the video board at AT&T; Park on Tuesday night, but he actually was asleep when Bonds hit home run No. 756 to break his all-time career home run record.
My take: Well, at least he was at home. Bud Selig slept through No. 755 and he was in the ballpark.
News item: Tax experts say Matt Murphy, the Mets fan who grabbed Bonds' 756th home run ball, may have to pay more than $200,000 in income tax on it even if he doesn't sell it.
My take: I've always wondered why there's a box on my W-2 form that says "Wages, tips and steroid-tainted record home run balls."
News item: The Orioles overcame a four-run deficit in the eighth inning of Friday night's series opener against the first-place Boston Red Sox, avenging the infamous Mother's Day Meltdown at Fenway Park earlier this season.
My take: Revenge is sweet. Now all the O's have to do is run off 28 wins in a row and we'll really show them.
My take: What? They'd rather have him out on the street?
News item: The NFL announced that it has installed high definition replay machines in all but three stadiums for the coming season.
My take: Upon further review - in consultation with officials at the Mid-Atlantic Sports Network - I've concluded that Super Slo-Mo probably would be sufficient.
News item: International soccer superstar David Beckham made his MLS regular-season debut on Thursday night against D.C. United before a sellout crowd of 46,686 in Washington.
My take: Really, I would have been there, but I had to water seal my deck.
News item: The San Diego Padres claimed Japanese pitcher Kei Igawa off waivers from the Yankees and are trying to work out a trade to add him to their rotation for the stretch run.
My take: It's official. The Yankees can afford to throw $30 million into a Dumpster. They paid $26 million just for the rights to sign Igawa and have spent $4 million this year for two wins.
News item: Roger Clemens has begun serving his five-game suspension for intentionally throwing at Blue Jays outfielder Alex Rios.
My take: Of course, if Major League Baseball really wanted to punish him, they'd make him stay with the Yankees between road starts.
News item: Lance Armstrong and the owners of the Discovery Channel team announced they are disbanding the only elite cycling club based in the United States because of sponsorship issues related to the sport's seemingly endless doping scandal.
My take: Troubling news. If this keeps up, the Tour de France might actually be won by somebody from France one of these days.
News item: The Oriole Bird has been nominated for the Mascot Hall of Fame.
My take: So much for all that cynical talk about how long it would be before another Oriole entered the Hall.
My take: Jones' comments were blown way out of proportion. It was almost like they were on steroids.
Listen to Peter Schmuck on WBAL (1090 AM) at noon Saturdays and Sundays.