Attention those of you with bad breath, a deep-rooted love of toilet paper and a hankering to yo-yo with a crowd: The Bowie Baysox want you.
Marking its 15th home opener tonight, the Orioles' Double-A affiliate is filling its dance card with the bizarre.
On May 26, the team will try to break the U.S. record for group yo-yoing (630) set in 1991 at Marley Station in Glen Burnie.
"We're going for 1,500," said Phil Wrye, assistant general manager who oversees marketing.
Why 1,500? That's how many toys he ordered Tuesday.
He might need every yo-yo he can muster. The University of South Carolina radio station strung along 932 yo-yoers on March 26 just outside the Strom Thurmond Wellness and Fitness Center (really). The claim is being reviewed by the American Yo-Yo Association, arbiter of all walk-the-dog, shoot-the-moon matters.
Halitosis will be in the spotlight July 6, during Bad Breath Night.
"We're going to be testing, definitely. I don't know how," Baysox spokesman Ryan Roberts said. "Maybe an intern?"
The team will roll out its Tribute to Toilet Paper Night on Aug. 31.
"Another team did duct tape, and we didn't want to be copycats," Wrye said. "Toilet paper is one of the necessities of life and doesn't get the respect it deserves."
All of this is enough to give a fan a powerful appetite. But fear not: The team that gave you the third-pound hot dog has you covered at the concession stand, too.
The Bubba Burger is two half-pound patties, bacon and cheese, smothered in barbecue sauce. All for $10.
But wait, there's more. Speared to the top of the bun with a wooden stake is a deep-fried jalapeno pepper. Comes with chips and an attending cardiologist.