Be honest with friend about beliefs

DEAR HARRIETTE -- A friend has been dating her live-in boyfriend for three years. While they have no plans to get married any time soon, they do feel they are ready to have a child. I am a devout Christian woman, and this is appalling to me!

She wants me to be supportive of their efforts to get pregnant, but I am often left speechless when she brings up the subject.


I've noticed myself putting distance between us because of it. I do care about her, though.

How do I maintain my friendship while still remaining true to my values?


Jessica, Detroit

JESSICA -- Search your heart to see if you can accept your friend for who she is and what she does.

Calmly explain your values to her so she can understand the tension that she likely does feel from you.

Ultimately, you will have to decide what you can handle.

DEAR HARRIETTE -- I recently became sexually involved with a woman I met through my ex-girlfriend.

My ex and I had a stressful relationship, and her friend noticed this. She had been telling me for some time before we broke up that I needed a woman who would treat me better, and when I was ready she would be just that.

I took her up on her offer. However, she cut ties with me because she said I was still hung up on my ex-girlfriend. I decided to tell my ex about everything, and now she and her family want nothing to do with me.

I don't know how to redeem myself in the eyes of my ex-girlfriend.


Dimitri, Richmond, Va.

DIMITRI --Maybe you are still hung up on her. Cut your ties with both women. Heal yourself and, when you're ready, look for someone new.

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