Mr. Flip, who strongly believes in the sanctity of marriage (except when a Ravens fan goes out of species to marry a Steelers fan), has frankly been troubled by the assault on the honorable estate this NFL offseason.
We pause first to lament the end of the nuptials of New York Giants defensive lineman Michael Strahan and his former blushing bride, Jean, whose seven-year union came to an official end Thursday in a New Jersey court.
Say this for the Strahans, who have twin 20-month-old daughters: They know how to make their divorce proceedings entertaining.
In the midst of their two-month trial, the former Jean Strahan declared that her gap-toothed now-ex-husband not only hid a camera in a clock-radio to spy on one of her sisters, but that he also left the marriage to live an "alternative lifestyle" with television doctor Ian Smith.
Jean Strahan amended her statement to reflect that she meant that Strahan and Smith were philanderers, not gay - not that there's anything wrong with that.
In one final delicious parting shot, Jean Strahan said after the divorce decree was granted that she felt "about 260 pounds lighter - or is it less," an apparent allusion to the notion that Michael Strahan has visited a plastic surgeon and had liposuction performed.
Mr. Flip can only say: Ouch.
Now comes the latest troubled New Jersey marriage, as Vincent Shenocca, a construction worker, and his wife of 10 years, Sharon, attempt to put their two-story relationship asunder.
According to the Boston Herald, Vincent Shenocca has alleged in court papers that Belichick "has had a relationship" with his wife, dating to the time when Sharon Shenocca was a receptionist with the Giants and Belichick was a New York assistant.
Vincent Shenocca alleges that over the years, Belichick has sent limos to the house to pick Sharon Shenocca up, that the coach flew her to Super Bowl 38 (Mr. Flip has no time for pretentious Roman numerals) and that he has hooked her up with lots of cash.
In fact, Vincent Shenocca says, Sharon Shenocca is looking to move to a pricey part of Brooklyn, and he wonders how she can do that when she doesn't work.
For her part, Sharon Shenocca said in court papers that she did receive gifts from "an individual," but that she didn't hide the friendship from her husband. Besides that, she says the relationship was "plutonic [sic]."
Hmm. Mr. Flip now wonders if Sharon Shenocca wasn't seeing a cartoon dog, rather than a football coach with a hangdog look.
Compiled from wire and Web reports by Mr. Flip, who thinks no wedding is complete unless all the single women dive for the bouquet the way Brooks Robinson went for a grounder in the hole.