Think of the glamorous Loretta Young in the doorway of her make-believe, Hollywood home theatrically welcoming viewers to the Loretta Young Show (1954-1961 on CBS).
Now, add a pencil-thin mustache to the host and move the doorway from California to Baltimore, and you more or less have the delightful opening for John Waters Presents Movies That Will Corrupt You - a 13 week film series starting today on here! - TV's first gay cable channel.
The series begins with Freeway, a scary twist on Little Red Riding Hood with Reese Witherspoon and Kiefer Sutherland starring in the tale of a teenager going to grandma's house and a killer.
After welcoming viewers into his living room, Waters describes the film as: "serial killers, scary white people, lesbians and Reese Witherspoon." Long pause. "What more could you possibly want?"
Waters goes on to describe it as a "great date movie." Definition: "If the person watching with you tonight likes Freeway, he or she will definitely sleep with you afterward," he explains.
"Question your date," Waters says, hitting his campy stride. "Have you ever been arrested? If they say no, dump 'em. I could never love anyone who hasn't been locked up at least once," he says, proudly holding up a police mug shot of himself.
A word of warning (beyond the adult subject matter of the films and profanity of Waters' introductions): Not all viewers get here! To see John Waters Presents on cable, one has to subscribe to Comcast digital - and then pay an additional $3.99 per show via the On Demand service. Those who subscribe to either the DirecTV or dish network satellite services can access the series on pay-per-view in the same manner.
Since the series is only available via pay-per-view or video on demand, there is no specific airtime. Tomorrow's opening episode will be available starting at noon, according to Josh Rosenzweig, director of corporate communications for here!